Over my dead body has been around for so long, nine seasons, that you no longer always realize how special the BNNVara program is. Young, terminally ill people who talk about their lives and the approaching end, the subject is not such that I can always muster the courage to look at it (apart from the question of who always watching a program), when all things considered it is a cathartic experience time and time again.
Tim Hofman follows six young people in the new series. He does that, in the spirit of Over my dead body, with patience and empathy and without much trepidation. This attention gives the characters of the portrayed relief. They allow the viewer an insight into a world of doubt, fear and pain, but also of pleasure, a loving environment and everyday happiness, which is not so everyday.
For Hofman it is sometimes a balancing act between his (sincere) curiosity and (fear of) impertinence, resulting in stammering discomfort. But why shouldn’t he also be allowed to be tongue-tied every now and then? His interlocutors always show their generous side. Who to Over my dead body cooperates, has thrown any taboos overboard.
Everyone, of course, approaches his or her illness in his or her own way, but the six also have similarities. Such as the resignation with which they accept their fate, after they have been told that they have been ‘finished’. “You have little choice, it ends here,” says Patrick (31), who has prepared a euthanasia statement to prevent the suffering he saw in his mother, who, like him, suffered from colon cancer.
Another similarity: the sadness that is not constantly present, but flares up every now and then, next to the untamed capacity for enjoyment. And, remarkably, the guilt many feel about their impending end. “I’ll be dead soon, that makes everyone so sad, and that’s my fault,” says 16-year-old Kiki, who has been ill for two years. Against all logic, she realizes that herself. She is the youngest of the six, and perhaps that’s why her stories hurt a little more than the others. Never getting a marriage proposal – she talks about it as she opens an imaginary box with a wedding ring with her hands. ‘Everyone has done this and done that: kissed, ex’s. And then me, haha, not me. All sad.’
Kiki is also the one who bluntly expresses the worrying about what comes ‘after this’: ‘What happens then? I’m all alone, what should I do?’ Those who are religious may be able to answer that question by appealing to the role of angels, the divine messengers who lead to heaven. Infidels may find comfort in youths like Kiki, who, by providing a view on their journey into the unknown, give the angels fierce competition.