My boyfriend and I live in the first house on the street of an apartment complex. By working from home, we have become an unsolicited package point of the complex. We always accept parcels for neighbors as a courtesy, also knowing that otherwise the delivery person will be paid less. More and more, a burden for our 44 square meter apartment. Neighbors often pick up those packages days later, without a thank you. I don’t want to stop taking parcels, and I like to stay friendly, but how do I make sure my house isn’t full of other people’s parcels? Woman (28), name known to the editors
Former delivery man
In two words: stop it. It will only get worse. As a former self-employed parcel deliverer, I know all too well that residents at certain addresses are never at home. Those in your neighborhood also know that you always take everything. That shows a lack of respect from them to the delivery person, but certainly also to you. So stop it, but be nice to the delivery person if you refuse a package. Maurice van den Berg (56), Eindhoven
Train the delivery man
Train your parcel deliverers. We have the same story here, our house is at the beginning of the footpath to the whole row, and last refuge for the delivery drivers. It is indeed annoying if such a box continues to block your hallway for days. That’s why I made a list of neighbor numbers for whom we do and do not hire. Most delivery drivers now know that list by heart. Jeroen de Jong (49), Zoetermeer
Urge to be nice
I recognize a real pleaser in what you write. The interests of the parcel deliverer and the neighbors take precedence over your needs. I strongly suspect that this is a pattern that manifests itself in several areas in your life. As an experience expert, my advice is: investigate where the urge to remain nice and ignore yourself comes from, then the package problem will resolve itself. Lara van Lent (41), Rotterdam
Own banana peel
Dear, kind woman, you have put down your own banana peel. The first time such an action is sweet and much appreciated, soon it is quite normal for you to do all this. Make clear agreements and rules regarding the parcel problem. And certainly once a year a non-complex neighborhood drink for the entire complex. Jos van Eijndhoven (69), Liempde
Mulled wine
My neighbors took absolutely everything for me and I also work from home. I gave my neighbors a bottle of mulled wine at Christmas and now have the packages delivered at a collection point. Even there, they often only hold the packages for seven days. Frans Wiggers (25), Utrecht
Self a point
There are two solutions: you can bring the parcels to the neighbors at a later date when they are at home, or you can become an official parcel point yourself. Then you have a financial advantage and you can buy a larger apartment after saving for a long time. Bianka Smeets (44), Tilburg
VvE
Suggest that the VvE purchases a parcel mailbox for the joint entrance. Small investment and a fair solution. Paul van Stiphout (43), Tilburg
Nice find
Stop taking. I myself took many packages during corona time, but because the corridor was almost always occupied by packages, I put a note at the bell that they no longer had to call for packages from neighbors. Fortunately, I have passed the time when I wanted to be liked by everyone, including by accepting packages. Jan Okhuijsen, (67), Nijmegen
make a flyer
Take a photo of your ‘package point’, calculate how much rent you pay for this and make a flyer for the residents with the announcement that you are going to stop this. You also run a risk by accepting all those packages. You don’t know what’s in it, whether you can face an allegation of theft. Irmgard van Himbergen (66), Tilburg
In two weeks: how to deal with my almost grown immature son?
I am a hardworking single mother of two sons, ages 21 and 19, living at home. The relationship with the youngest is difficult. After dropping out of pre-university education, he now follows adult education with just as little effort. He neither works nor sports, takes care of himself badly and kills time gaming, snacking and sleeping. He sees no problem himself, so addressing him about behavior ends in an argument. I have little support from my ex. My son thinks he has a right to shelter and accuses me of meddling. He seems to have little ambition. What would you do: continue to offer him structure and convenience? Or are there other options? Woman (50), name known to editors
Our question is: what would you do? Mail your answer (max. 110 words) before Monday January 31, 2022 to: [email protected]. Do you have a dilemma and do you want advice from other readers? Mail your problem (max. 110 words) to: [email protected]. Always state your full name, age and place of residence. The editors reserve the right to shorten contributions.