By Konstantin Marrach
According to a saying, “How you make your bed is how you sleep,” as the saying goes. And for more and more couples in Germany, this means consciously spending the night in separate beds. But how dangerous is that for a relationship?
The result of a current study by the dating portal “ElitePartner” among around 4,400 partners shows: In one in ten relationships (eleven percent) people consciously forego a night’s sleep side by side. And another eight percent of those surveyed sleep in separate rooms at least several times a week.
The most common reason for deciding to have separate beds: your partner snores. For 25 percent of women, men’s nighttime noises are unbearable. Among men, however, only eleven percent feel massively bothered by their loved ones’ snoring.
Curiously, snoring is found to be most stressful in women aged 40 to 50. Among 60 to 70 year olds it is only 24 percent.
Another reason for separate beds is different sleep patterns. He’s on late shift, she has to leave for the early shift – that’s why 15 percent of couples don’t sleep side by side.
The third most frequently mentioned problem: If your partner sleeps restlessly and often tosses and turns at night. 12 percent of women and 6 percent of men would change rooms because of this or have already done so.
Expert: “This can boost sex”
The big question: How dangerous are separate beds for a relationship?
According to the study, dissatisfied couples sleep separately more often than satisfied ones. But: “Separate bedrooms are not automatically a sign of emotional distance,” says psychologist and “ElitePartner” study leader Lisa Fischbach. “If couples stress each other out more than is good for them, they should have the courage to think about other constellations. Because in the long run the relationship suffers more if you are deprived of your sleep by your partner and are annoyed by them.”
The expert emphasizes: “There is nothing wrong with cuddling together before falling asleep, visiting each other in the morning or meeting up for the night together. This makes your night’s sleep more restful and can even stimulate sex.”
Of course, it is also a fact: at 75 percent, the clear majority of couples sleep together in the same bed. Every second couple states that they are simply able to fall asleep and stay asleep better together.
When it comes to sleep rituals, this is what came out: More than every second couple (55 percent) traditionally kiss each other goodnight. And in one in four marriages or civil partnerships (24 percent) the day begins with cuddles together.