In the past the mirror was covered or there was a broom outside. And of course wearing a mourning band after a death was also very effective. Old traditions that have almost disappeared. But according to funeral director Zuylen from Breda, there is a need for it again and that is why they come up with a modern version: the ‘mourning reminder’. That is a brooch with a new symbol that subtly shows that the wearer is in the mourning.
The idea of the mourning recognizer comes directly from practice. In her work as a funeral supervisor, Lisianne Fennema discovered that people are increasingly in need of making it clear that they have lost a neighbor.
“It is not a new idea, but actually breathing new life into a ritual that we have all lost in the Netherlands,” she says. “You can no longer show the outside world that you are in mourning. Just let others know that they should be a bit careful with you.”
Cover mirror at death
In earlier times a black cloth was hung over a mirror when someone had died. The idea behind it was that the Spirit could then leave. All mirrors in the house had to be covered. Other signs were hanging outside of black ribbons. And of course people wore black clothes.
Because that turns out to be often necessary. Grief is not always recognized. “Bystanders are often three stations further than the mourners themselves,” Fennema continues. “Sometimes some inappropriate comments are made. For example:” Joh, then you just take a dog. “Or:” You still have another child. “That is very painful. I really noticed the trend of less caution with people in mourning.”
“With a brooch you subtly show what is going on.”
Lisianne would like to change that and it gave her the idea of publishing something beautiful that also sends a strong signal. Recognizing and recognizing the grieving process. Her employer Zuylen was immediately enthusiastic and the idea of a brooch with a new symbol was born.
“I was diagnosed with a disease in 2019,” she explains. “People don’t see that now, but if I were to walk with a stick, for example. They would be more careful. A brooch will let you know subtly what’s going on.”
“The need that people want to show that they are in mourning is often greater than we think. The pin therefore also invites communication and can open a nice conversation. The good thing is that you can of course always get up and dispose of the mourning reminder whenever you want.”
“I realized that I would wear my own design at my mother’s funeral.”
The funeral supervisor of funeral director Zuylen approached designer Myrthe Koppelaar from Breda to make the sign for the brooch. The ‘mourning reminder’ symbolizes the heart, the connection between the deceased and the grieving, and eternity.
“The assignment unexpectedly received a personal charge,” says the artist. “During the design process I heard that my mother had cancer. That placed everything in a different perspective. I realized that I might wear my own designed symbol on my mother’s funeral. That gave depth to the process in a sad way.”
Funeral organization Zuylen is still thinking about how they will distribute the ‘mourning reminder’ and will announce that soon. Last Sunday, participants of a seminar already received a copy of the ‘mourning reminder’.
