“My husband Roan and I have a large company that often requires us to travel to Asia. At least once a month we are away for a week. When our two children were small, we chose for my husband to go alone and for me to stay home with the kids. Our company has grown so much in recent years that I have to keep up. On the one hand that is very nice, but on the other hand I also find it difficult not to be with my children.
Emergency landing
Three years ago, Roan and I flew to Indonesia together for the umpteenth time. We flew to Jakarta, where we had a transfer to a domestic flight. During that flight, after half an hour, a lot of smoke came out of one of the engines. I was very shocked. Within minutes we descended for an emergency landing and just after landing the engine caught fire. All I could think about was our children. What if the engine had caught fire while we were still in the air?
Separate flights
Since that event I have developed a fear of flying and panic attacks. Thanks to conversations with a psychologist and a course for people with a fear of flying, I have calmed down a bit, but I never really sit comfortably while flying. One thing has completely changed: Roan and I will never fly together again. Roan always gets on the plane a day earlier or later than me and we do the same on the way back.
Decision is fixed
Roan doesn’t see the problem that way and says we’re much more likely to get into a car accident. I see that differently. Fortunately, he respects my decision. I tell him over and over how I felt during that, for me, traumatic event. He knows I can’t bear the thought of our children being left without us. The thought alone makes me nauseous.
Traveling as a family
When we travel as a family, the four of us board the same plane. Only when we’re complete, then I’m ‘comfortable’ and I’m not constantly looking at my phone or staring out the window at the engine. It is and remains a thing. Hopefully the fear of flying and the fear around my children will one day go away, because it is not nice.”
The complete names by Noelle and Roan are at the editor known .
This article was previously published by our colleagues at JM Parents