Recommendations of the Editorial team
Stevie Wonder once said, “Everyone is kids at Christmas.” Thrashers are no exception.
Over the years, metal bands have flipped their inverted crucifixes and written some of the heaviest, loudest and most rousing anthems to the holiday season.
AC/DC – “Mistress for Christmas”
While most people spend Christmas wishing for peace on earth, AC/DC’s Brian Johnson just wants to have sex in secret. In “Mistress for Christmas” he asks Santa Claus for a little adventure. And from the sounds of him, he was definitely on the naughty list this year.
Twisted Sister – “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”
Who would have thought that Twisted Sister, the band that shocked households in the ’80s and took on the Parents Music Resource Center, would release something as innocuous as a Christmas album? Surprisingly, the band played “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” relatively straight.
Type O Negative – “Red Water (Christmas Mourning)”
Brooklyn’s finest gothic metal grouches are haunted by the ghosts of Christmas past in this typically dark and melancholic dirge. In his sepulchral voice, Peter Steele sighs over departed friends and family members, but keeps a wink in his eye.
“My table is only set for seven/Last year I ate at eleven.” Don’t miss the humorously dark quotes from “Carol of the Bells” and “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.” And not that either fantastic fan-made videowhich the song inspired.
Spinal Tap – “Christmas With the Devil”
A giant Santa Claus skull, Harry Shearer in leather pants with a devil’s tail and a three-part solo: this has to be a Spinal Tap Christmas. The funny thing is that they’re not that far from the guys who are serious.
Manowar – “Silent Night”
Manowar loves bombast. They have a variety of songs about medieval battles that start quietly and then build to an explosive, breathtaking climax. For “Silent Night” (in German!) they put the swords aside but keep the crescendos. A finale worthy of a king.
Halford – “We Three Kings”
Judas Priest’s Rob Halford loves Christmas so much that his third solo album, Halford 3: Winter Songsconsists exclusively of Christmas carols. In “We Three Kings” the metal god calls on the Judeo-Christian god as only a metal legend can.
Korn – “Kidnap the Sandy Claws”
In addition to kilts, dreadlocks and baggy trousers, Christmas time is apparently one of Korn’s favorite things. Over the course of their 20-year career, the pioneers of nu-metal have released “Jingle Bells” (reinterpreted as death metal-like “Jingle Balls”) and the classic Christmas poem “A Visit from St. Nicholas” (which she made into the immature throwaway track “Christmas Song” defaced) with their typical downtuning.
But her most generous gift this Christmas may be her cover of Lock, Shock and Barrels Nightmare Before Christmas-Grumbling along to “Kidnap the Sandy Claws,” which Jonathan Davis and Co. transform into a menacing serial killer freakout.