Xander De Rycke loses his mother: “We didn’t have an easy relationship” | BV

The relationship between Xander and his mom has been very bad for a while. The comedian spoke openly about this in previous interviews, in his theater shows and in two books he wrote. “My mother was a serious alcoholic,” he said in ‘De Morgen’ in 2018. “The drink made her unstable, paranoid, but also very mean. villainous. I couldn’t handle that. So I cut that tie when I was 18. Two or three years ago she had a brain haemorrhage and I went to see her in the hospital. Since then I have been in contact again. Every three weeks she sends me an annoying message that worries me and that’s about it. But the hatred is gone.”

This conflict is also apparent from the emotional farewell message that De Rycke shares on Instagram. “Hello mom, the last thing you said to me was to be good,” the comedian writes with a childhood photo with his mother. “That was your way of saying ‘Behave’. My answer remains what it always was. ‘I will do my best.’ I kept that in mind when I wrote this text. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t easy writing about you. That’s perfectly in line with everything else. We did not have an easy relationship, you did not have an easy life and as many will confirm you were not an easy one.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about our story in recent weeks,” continues De Rycke. “The first part is quite good. I think of picnics in the garden with waffles, birthday parties, Saturday afternoons at the video store, looking for comics at the flea market. The next chapter is less. That’s the part of the story where you lose it all. Your parents, your house, your best friends, your trust in people, your son and in the end even your health. It’s true. Life has often dealt you bad cards, but you have also dealt a few yourself. In recent years you have done your best to correct some of your mistakes. But unfortunately for you, your body didn’t go along with that and your time was more limited than expected.”

Then the stand-up comedian describes the rollercoaster of emotions that run through his body. “I am mad. Angry that you did not take better care of yourself, evil that you always pretended to be stronger than you were. I clearly got that stubbornness from you. I’m sad. Sad for what could have been. For what should have been. And I’m happy. Glad you didn’t have to suffer long. Glad you are no longer in pain. Your legacy is one of many questions.”

Finally, De Rycke reflects on the farewell ceremony. “Your last and only wish was not to be strewn on Zelzate. So I did my best to fill in the gaps to your liking, Mom. You will soon be on Lochristi. That does mean that you live around the corner from your parents. Whether you make that content or not, we leave in between. It’s not a big deal. You would have wanted it that way. And frankly, there was nothing to compete with the Queen of England this week. There is a tree star at the back of your ticket. A reference to ‘Flat Foot & His Friends’. A movie I obviously liked for the dinosaurs. You because it was about a single mother who had to raise a son with her parents. And there are some jokes in the text. I think that’s only appropriate after you insisted on texting me the tear-off calendar every month for the past few years. I hope you have found your peace. And that you have an upstairs neighbor who knocks on the door less. Bye mom.”

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