Wonder is an anxiolytic. Seeing is believing

Lhe scene is a classic of all childhoods. The child climbing the slide ladderhe settles down in a seated position, with his legs already directed downwards and his little hands still clasped to the sides.

At that point, serene enough, call. «Dad/mom (usually one of the two): I’m ready, I’m coming down».

They taught us – rudiments of pedagogy – that we shouldn’t say good or good, just look. They don’t want to be judged, but seen.

The point, in the updated re-edition of this archetypal scene on the little park, is that the dad in question (would mom do the same?) doesn’t cock his head.

What are we missing

Keep scrolling and typing on your phone. In the meantime, he also says the wrong sentence: “But very good, how strong you are, what a rocket my little one, daddy’s love…”.

The son, of course, didn’t move. He is waiting for the look. You probably know, from experience already acquired, that after a while parents stop. And they reconnect to reality, the one outside the screens.

All this is wrong, we know it very well, it causes suffering in all directions. Yet we do it again. We need a re-education. Professor (of psychology, at Berkeley) Dacher Keltner wrote a book about it: Wonder. The new science of everyday wonder and how it can change your life.

He explains how “wonder” is that complex emotion that arises when we come across something so “vast” that “the sense of self” recedes. It can be connected to negative emotions, but when “wonder” is positive, it proves to be liberating and invigorating. It’s good for health, calms the nervous system, reduces inflammation, ignites a sense of belonging.

Back to nature

The professor says he has experienced its beneficial effects firsthand: the daughter, as a young girl, suffered from anxiety states. She up to fearing her own end. The two, together, then began to walk every evening until they touched an old neighborhood cedar and then reflected “on the cycle of life”. A calming rite of sharing.

The suggestion, taken from the New York Times in a newsletter dedicated to walking, is by set yourself a sequence of exercises. To reopen. To nature, to people. Starting with little, twenty minutes every day.

We retrain the mind

For example, leveraging one part for the whole. If you are in the city: stare at the threshold of a door and then climb up to the roof, stopping on every detail. If you are among people: choose a face and expand to the multitude. If we are in a garden: take a petal, focus on touch.

Or, if you are lucky enough to cross Valsesia, turn towards Oasi Zegna and immerse yourself in the basin of rhododendrons. There in the middle the wonder is guaranteed.

Red-purple, rosy flowers, perfumes. An unexpected show, which – fortunately – surpasses all description and arouses the amazement we need. The name derives from the Greek rhododendron, composed of rose (rhodon) and tree (déndron). But, reseeded in the soul, it can prune what eats us up inside.

Would you like to tell us about your experiences of daily “amazement”? Write to us at [email protected]

All articles by Barbara Stefanelli

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