1) The female alopecia jokes, made by people who are neither alopecic nor women, and who therefore know nothing of the stigma or suffering that this disease can entail, They are a form of violence no matter how much they dress up as a joke.
2) They are a form of violence because ridiculing someone is a way of attacking them, humiliating them and, ultimately, violate him; no matter how much grace you can do in the rest. And humor, like any other form of communicative expression, can be a transmitter of violent ideas, even if they are camouflaged under a friendly appearance.
3) At the same time, it keeps screeching at me that Will Smith will justify his violent attitude with mantras as dangerous as “love makes you do crazy things.” Although his protective macho attitude bothers me, it is true that he also makes visible the violence that Jada Pinkett-Smith received; that might otherwise have gone unnoticed. That there were other ways to make this violence visible? Surely. But who are we to monitor the response to an attack? From my white feminist eyes, the first thing I see is a man stealing from his wife the option of being a subject who can decide what to do against an attack and defend herself alone. But since I know that my white feminist eyes have racist biases and do not know how to see everything, I try to listen to other perspectives (such as that of the Afro-feminine colleagues) that highlight the importance of someone deciding to stand and refused to tolerate that a black woman continued to receive violence with impunity in a public act.
4) On the other hand, a part of me also understands the violent response to an attack on someone you love. Let’s repeat all together: Chris Rock’s comment is also violence. A violence broadcast live around the world and reinforced by the laughter of hundreds of people approving the ‘bully’ on duty and his aggression. We often put our hands on the ‘bullying’ in the classroom, but what some comedians do in front of full auditoriums and many adults with their groups of friends is a tracing of the dynamics of ‘bullying’.
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5) It is a real pity that, once again, the focus is on the response and not on the violence that has provoked it. Everyone is very clear that a slap is going too far, but why don’t we condemn with the same vehemence the aggression that triggered it? Why is the violence that we find most inadmissible the one that is being defended, if deep down it is the most legitimate of all?
Perhaps it is time for us to integrate that traditionally violence has been exercised against minority groups through humor and that freedom of expression is not a right designed to protect hate speech. If we want to put an end to certain inequalities, perhaps we will have to stop making jokes about the same old. Or at least accept that they stop laughing thanks.