Fiona Apple was 18 years old when “Tidal” was released in the summer of 1996, a sensational debut full of piano ballads for which the term “pop” is far too cheap. The first sentence she sings: “I tell you how I feel, but you don’t care.” She cancels all her dreams and tells the fool who has ruined everything that he should please stop messing around and just go. because her mind, her body and her voice finally no longer want to be suppressed. And that can only be done alone. After a few more songs like this, the question arises as to whether love always has to hurt – and if so, shouldn’t we continue to get involved in it anyway, because bitterness is much more terrible than pain?
Fiona Apple sees herself as a “Sullen Girl”: “He washed me ashore/ And he took my pearl/ And left an empty shell of me.” Do bad experiences inevitably lead to a lot of frustration and even more self-doubt? “Once my lover, now my friend/ What a cruel thing to pretend!” she explains in “Shadowboxer” – in this world of thought, a friendship with a man seems even more impossible than a pleasant partnership, she always sees the potential enemy. Above all, she struggles with her own shadows. Sometimes she accuses herself of being a “criminal”, then she wants to frame her lover “Slow Like Honey”, but the important thing is: she only ever recognizes herself in the mirror Opposite person – in whom she has no trust whatsoever (“Never Is A Promise”).
No kind of love will ever fix it
Of course (because she’s smart), Fiona Apple eventually realizes that no kind of love can ever fix it unless she comes to terms with herself (“The Child Is Gone”). How do we know this again? In 1977, Linda Creed summed it up in a song lyric that became famous in 1985 thanks to Whitney Houston: “Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all.” “Tidal” ends with a song called “Carrion” (Aas) , the last words are: “All I want is to save you, honey/ Or the strength to walk away.” Later, it seems, Fiona Apple saved herself and largely withdrew from the public – today she is happy with that , to release an album every few years and otherwise rest on their royalties.
On the magnificent “Fetch The Bolt Cutters” in 2020, at 42, she continued to vacillate between accusations and self-empowerment – and still didn’t sound particularly happy. In an interview, she claimed that she only leaves her house to walk the dog. A year before “Tidal” came the debut of a 20-year-old songwriter who decided to take a different path. Jewel sings about similar themes on “Pieces Of You”: she laments the “foolish games” between men and women and suffers from the stupidity of her lover in “You Were Meant For Me”.
Is it perhaps healthier to simply believe in love?
Of course, Fiona Apple proved to be a much greater talent, but it’s refreshing how simply Jewel Kilcher presents her tenderness as a strength: “I’m sensitive/ And I’d like to stay that way.” She then married a cowboy, The marriage didn’t last, but Jewel continues to shine undaunted. Maybe it’s healthier to just believe in love, despite everything, passionately and totally unreasonable. If we are too afraid of burning our fingers, the fire in our hearts often goes out.
This text appeared as an article in the series of the column “Birgit Fuß wonders through”