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Concerned politicians and administrators regularly complain about the tone of the political debate, the fierce rhetoric, the harsh language. That leads to polarization and more mistrust, they warn. But politicians and administrators can also spit in the face with polite words. Without any idea about the rudeness they commit, because they do not want or cannot see the needs in society. Sigrid Kaag, Frans Timmermans and Eric Wiebes (resurrected from the shame catacombs of the benefits catastrophe through reprehensible statements) recently showed how this works.