Psychologist Thijs Launspach is a psychologist and stress expert and the author of the book Breeding pressure. He marvels at modern working and gives tips every week for more happiness and less stress at work. Today: the voice in your head.
I ruined it. You see, I can’t do this. What will they think about me? They’ll think I’m a failure. You talk to yourself all day long – not out loud (at least, usually not!), but in your head. There is nothing wrong with that in itself, and certainly nothing crazy about it. Talking to ourselves allows us to solve problems. At least, when the voice is a bit constructive (‘Hey whopper, how are we going to handle this?’).
However, the little voice in your head can also get in the way: for example if your inner monologue sounds like a drill sergeant (“Get up now, good-for-nothing!”), or when you keep blaming yourself (“How could I be so stupid?” ?’). When your inner monologue overwhelms you with negativity, or when it echoes in such a way that it gets in the way of your functioning, it’s wrong. An incessant stream of self-criticism makes your life hell.
Also read at Intermediary: Turn off your email and work phone at least one day a week
Psychological techniques
If you suffer from an overactive inner whiner, there are things you can do. In the book The voice in your head psychologist Ethan Kross outlines the problem: that sly little voice keeps you trapped in a panicky ‘here and now’. mr. Brombeer keeps you zoomed in on the situation, while you should zoom out for your rest. If you have an inner voice that keeps on meditating, then it is a matter of distance. For example, according to Kross, you can do this through these three psychological techniques:
– Putting yourself in your head literally at a distance. See the situation you are in from the perspective of a fly on the wall, rather than through your own eyes. Or imagine that in five years’ time you will look back at this moment: how does that feel? This helps psychologically and emotionally zoom out and see the moment in perspective.
– Write about what’s bothering you. Your inner grunt tries to protect you from misfortune or mistakes, but it doesn’t work very well if it just keeps nagging. Instead of running away, try to really listen. It helps to write down his objections.
– Forget yourself for a while. Yes, really, that also works well against the mustache in your head. For example, by losing yourself in a concert, contemplating the starry sky or looking attentively at art. It all works fine, to let that voice in your head shut up for a while.
Are you often critical of yourself?
You can respond at the bottom of this article. Only comments with a full name be placed. We do that because we want a debate with people who stand for what they say, and who put their name on it. If you still need to enter your name, you can do so by clicking ‘Login’ at the top right of our site.
Thijs Launspach is a psychologist and stress expert. He is the author of, among others, You are already enough – Mentally healthy in a disturbed world (2022), Werk can also uit (2020) and Fokking Druk (2018).
Free unlimited access to Showbytes? Which can!
Log in or create an account and don’t miss out on any of the stars.