By Konstantin Marrach
What actually makes sex really good sex? Anyone who immediately thinks of the climax is wrong. Ideally, orgasm is part of lovemaking, but it is not the most important ingredient. Neither for women nor for men!
This is shown by a representative study by the online portal ElitePartner. For the majority of women, the most important thing about sex is the emotional aspect. 68 percent said that when they were intimate with their partner, they primarily enjoyed familiarity and closeness. The majority of men (58 percent) also cited this feeling as a decisive factor for successful sex.
When making love, it is particularly important for both partners not to get up immediately afterwards and go back to everyday life. A good half of women (54 percent) and almost every second man consider it important to lie in or next to each other and cuddle afterwards.
But how important is orgasm ultimately for women and men during sex? In the rankings, the peak – at least for women – only comes in fourth place (40 percent). According to the survey, the third most important thing (47 percent) to them is caressing and tenderness during sexual intercourse. Men also value it (40 percent), although one in two people are reluctant to miss out on a cathartic climax (48 percent).
Further results of the study:
- For 42 percent of men, but only 28 percent of women, changing positions during sex is important.
- The majority of men (35 percent) and women (24 percent) prefer long and persistent sexual intercourse. Only about one in five (22 percent) and one in five (21 percent) of those surveyed are more likely to like a Quicky.
- Both sexes find it important that people laugh in bed. 41 percent appreciate humor in intimate moments.
- However, for only 14 percent, dirty conversations – so-called dirty talk – should take place in bed.
- Also interesting: 17 percent of all respondents generally use erotic toys such as dildos etc. during sex.
- And at least one in ten likes sexual intercourse to be a little harder – with gentle to stronger SM elements.
How does an expert classify the results of this study?
Open conversation keeps desire alive
“Physical closeness and satisfying sexuality play an important role in the partnership,” says qualified psychologist Lisa Fischbach from ElitePartner. “If couples manage to live out their own desire to share physical and emotional intimacy with one another, they confirm their feeling of togetherness and love. For many people, revealing one’s sexual needs is very personal and highly sensitive because sex can often bring out strong emotions.”
She emphasizes: “That’s why most people want intimacy, cuddling and tenderness for good sex. It is certainly good when couples harmonize their sexual desires, but an open conversation about erotic fantasies and sexual desires keeps desire alive and allows new things to be discovered.”