What do I do about a humming roommate?

My roommate, who is also a good friend, is a fun, chatty and energetic young man. I can always laugh with him. But when he is in a happy mood, for example when we are working together in the living room, he hums a lot. Lately I’ve been getting more and more annoyed by this, and I don’t really know what to do with it. So far I have not said anything about it, because I find it difficult to limit him in his cheerful personality. He also doesn’t take criticism well. How do I do this?
Man (32), name known to the editors

Is the humming the only thing?

I and my son have lived in one house with a friend for six years. She was calm, I the chatty and energetic friend. My music bothered her, so I stopped my music. Then I sang, talked and laughed too much. After six years I was deeply unhappy and left for my own house. There I can do what I want and be who I am. With the people who appreciate that around me. It cost me and her a friendship that was valuable to both of us. Think about whether the humming is the only thing or if there is more to come. But above all: what is this friend worth to you? Saskia Ramerman (57), Enschede

ask him

Tell him what you think about the humming without criticizing him. For example, use the perception-feeling-need-request method. Notice that he hums regularly, tell us what that does to you (do you get restless?), share your need (silence?) and make a request (stop humming when you are at work?). What your housemate then does with this request is beyond your control. But a good friend will surely understand your wishes, if you are reasonable yourself. Janneke van Boven (27), Nijmegen

say it right away

I had to laugh at this question. I’m such a humming colleague. Much to the dismay of some of my colleagues. It happens without me noticing, often when I’m concentrated at work. That’s why I say to my colleagues: report it to me immediately. Only then can it stop. I try to pay attention to it, but unfortunately it happens unconsciously. The best remedy really is: nip it in the bud right away. Iet van Ooijen (60), The Hague

Don’t care

Get noise-canceling headphones for the moments when you really can’t stand them and enjoy them the rest of the time. Many would kill for a roommate, friend and an always good-humoured roommate-friend. Sara Terburg (44), Goirlea

button to

Your roommate hums when he’s happy. I can almost see it before me: an ideal picture of domesticity. I’m sorry you’re annoyed by it. I can wholeheartedly recommend that you turn the switch. I did that myself years ago. That’s why I can now enjoy my cock crowing early and my snoring husband. That is the ultimate happiness for me. Joke Harte-Bosma (71), Uithoorn

Relaxed enough?

How lucky are you. A cheerful roommate who hums. Nowadays there are so many people walking around silently with earphones and headphones that I would be happy with a cheerful sound. If a natural sound of general relaxation bothers you, it may be a sign for you to seek some relaxation on your own. Nicole Korprich (51), Arnhem

In two weeks: clicking with the harbor master about unnecessary energy consumption?

Recently, the owner of a neighboring boat in the marina has an electrically heated hot tub on his aft deck, out of sight of passers-by. The thing is steaming day and night. The neighbor is happy with it, especially because the energy is free. Electricity costs are included in the mooring fee. It annoys me to waste energy like this at this time. If the harbor master knew about the neighbor’s behavior, it would certainly be stopped, but I hate to click. I’ve said before that I think his hot tub is wasteful, and that that energy isn’t free, but it doesn’t come across. What should I do: address the neighbor again or inform the harbor master? Man (62), name known to the editors