Every year we buy new toys for our children during the holidays. The cupboards and toy bins are overflowing, children hardly know what to do with them. Why do we keep buying?
Anouk Kreulen (18) and her mother-in-law Ingeborg Bruin (57) are in the Intertoys in Assen. Bruin holds a plush unicorn and a wooden Peppa Pig puzzle in her hands. The gifts are for Kreulen’s sisters. But do they really need it? “Nah,” says Kreulen. “But it is nice to give. We do it for those happy faces.”
A little further on there is a woman of around sixty who is busy looking at her list. In her hands she has a box of ‘play slime’. She buys something for all the grandchildren, this is the wish of one of those little ones. “To be very honest, I think: they already have so much. I can’t say I’m whole here happy walk around. I actually think they have too much. That could be a little less. They don’t play with everything. And there are people in this world who have much less.”
Ah, the Sinterklaas time, that wonderful time. Warm coziness, colorful packages and sugary sweets create this annual children’s highlight. Those gifts are especially indispensable. Small things in the shoe. Bigger toys on Christmas Eve. Two, five, twenty packs, we seem to be making it crazier and crazier.
But what happens to all those colored wooden cars, hard plastic animals, Pete hats and fart cushions? Do they end up in the big pile? And can it be a little more sustainable?
More toys are worse for the child
A quick internet search reveals inside no time: many toys are not good for children at all. They get stressed about choices or don’t really get around to playing. To highlight one study: in 2018, researchers from the University of Toledo (USA) with a trial among 36 children aged 0-3 years . They played for half an hour with four or sixteen toys (such as a fire truck or blocks). The children who played with four pieces played longer without interruption and invented new ways to play.
On numerous websites such as Parents of Now and Center for youth and family in Utrecht the following calculation is reported: ‘The number of toys a child needs is one third of his age in months.’ Two toys for a six-month-old baby, eight toys for a 24-month-old child. If you have much more: keep them out of the reach of children. But when we get to an average box, you often see a lot more. The toy bins of an average Dutch household often contain enough for an entire orphanage.
A nice feeling
So why do we keep buying? Marijke Leliveld knows more about that. She is an associate professor in consumer ethics at the University of Groningen and has conducted research into, among other things, the psychology of ‘doing good’. “You often buy toys for your children. You want to ensure that your children do not lack anything. We all apply that rule and we implement it, for example, by buying a lot. As a society we may have gone a bit too far in this regard.”
That is a rational conclusion. But the other side: giving something away feels good. Both gifts and money to charities. Leliveld: “We call that in literature the warm glow of giving. Research shows that the ‘reward part’ of our brain becomes active when we give something away.” While purchasing, you will get a anticipated warm glow the anticipation you have about giving something beautiful to a child.
In December, around Sinterklaas and Christmas, this is taken a step further. We see all kinds of colorful brochures and flashy commercials. “There are always nice new things coming onto the market. In combination with ‘you want the best for your child’, you just keep bringing in things,” Leliveld explains.
The biggest culprit of our spending behavior these days is the soul-stirring we-are-there-for-each-other feeling. Positive emotions such as love, gratitude or pleasure increase the desire to give gifts . “That’s called ‘ communal sharing in literature and is greatly enhanced in December by beautiful advertisements with mini stories. That appeals to a sense of family, helping each other and giving to each other,” says Leliveld. Laughing, she confesses: “I do have a soft spot for it.”
A form of escapism perhaps, too, if you ask Leliveld himself. “It is of course nice to dive into this time and say: we are having such a good time here. Then we don’t have to watch the world burn. But this is my personal opinion.”
‘Story of stuff’
So we are subject to the persistent grip of commerce that would have us believe that buying gifts is necessary to do right by our children. Well, that may be so. But can it be made more sustainable?
Denise Strijk (21) and her mother Corline Strijk (58) are standing in the SoLow in Assen. They do some shopping for Christmas Eve among friends with a budget of 10 euros. In Corline’s basket there is a pack of playing cards and a referee whistle in the shape of a football. Despite those toys, no children participate in the activity. “We are now mainly buying surprise items.”
“It’s a bit about laughing, you know,” says Denise. “There will probably be a dildo among the gifts on the table. You can really get messy sometimes.” But do we really need this stuff? Corline: “Well. It’s just about having fun. A snack, drink and a surprise. This is nice after the difficult corona period that is behind us.”
We end up on the story of the ‘story of stuff’ . We buy a lot and we throw a lot of it away. It also works this way with toys for children. An illustrative example is a sentence on forum website Mamaplaats (not to be confused with Marktplaats): ‘Are you increasingly noticing small things in the house that your children don’t use? Throw away!’
Buy sustainable toys
The solution: don’t bring small trinkets into the house. Largest online store Bol.com concluded a year ago that more and more parents (or children) are opting for sustainable toys. For example, the sustainable teething ring Sophie the Giraffe, made entirely of rubber, was widely sold digitally. People often buy wooden toys because they are stronger and more durable.
It is even better to exchange toys or temporarily bring them into your home. Company Play credit van Dorie ten Hove in Adorp responds to this. She provides durable toys that last a long time. Parents, daycare centers and childcare centers can use these items via a subscription and exchange them after a few months.
When it comes to the holiday season, the Swap Saint adding a dash of sustainability. This initiative, founded in 2013 to make the Sinterklaas celebration more sustainable, organizes fairs throughout the country where Sinterklaas items can be exchanged instead of bought new.
Second-hand
Back to Denise and Corline Strijk in the SoLow. Soon mother and daughter will walk from this junk shop to the thrift store. Because for a tenner budget you can really get the best Sinterklaas shopping there.
Buying second-hand toys could provide a solution in terms of sustainability. “Rationally, children are just as happy with second-hand Lego blocks as with new ones. But does new toy have a ‘warmer glow’ when you give it to someone?”, consumer ethicist Leliveld philosophizes out loud.
Ultimately, the question remains: do the children really need the things? Maybe a cinema voucher is also a nice idea this year.