This weekend, more than two thousand walkers will walk the 80 of the Langstraat. A tour of 80 kilometers with the start and finish in Waalwijk. Two of the participants are Semme van Aalst (23) and Kai Hagenaar (22). They don’t just join in, they do this for 113 suicide prevention. Both have had ‘dark thoughts’ and are still alive thanks to the helpline volunteers. “We want to raise money for the heroes of 113.”
The 2015 walkers mainly participate for the sporting performance. That is not the main goal of Semme from Oudheusden and his friend Kai. “We think it is important to make mental health a topic of discussion.”
A few hours before the start of the Kennedy march, the two candidly tell their story. “I myself have had to deal with dark thoughts and I have lost people to suicide,” says Kai, who had a turbulent youth. “When I ended up in youth care, it caused a lot of unrest. At some points I no longer felt like living.”
Kai found a listening ear at 113, the helpline for people with suicidal thoughts. “They helped me during moments of crisis. They listen and that is the most important thing. You can tell your story without them judging.”
Semme has also made a number of suicide attempts. “I followed therapy through 113 and that helped me get through it.” Both he and Kai now realize what the volunteers have done for them: “Without 113 we would no longer be here.”
“Why am I still here, why am I still doing this?”
“I am very grateful that I am still here,” says Kai. During the eighty kilometer walk, he thinks of everyone who struggles with their mental health and the volunteers behind 113. “Walking is also the best way to find yourself. And to think: why am I still here, why am I still doing it?”
“And at the 59 kilometer mark we take a moment to remember everyone who has died by suicide,” says Semme. “We do that at 59 kilometers because someone who lost Kai was 59. We light candles for her and everyone else.”
The two walkers already have Raised 1445 euros, the ultimate goal is 1500 euros. “They can use this to train new people and start new research,” says Semme. “Nine out of ten people at 113 are volunteers, and they all have to be well trained to handle such intense conversations.”
“Then he loses it for a while and recovers.”
Semme and Kai are doing well now. “I haven’t had dark thoughts for a year,” says Kai. “But it will always be with you, it will always be a fight. As long as you can talk to someone about it, it’s bearable.” The two are now each other’s 113 line. “We have really become chat buddies,” says Semme with a big smile. “If I see from Kai that something is going on, we talk to each other. Then he loses it for a while and recovers.”
And that’s what everyone can do, Semme knows. “If you want to do something, you have to listen without judgment. Not wanting to come up with a solution right away, but just listening and being there for someone.”
Talking about thoughts of suicide helps. You can call the 113 Suicide Prevention Foundation 24 hours a day on 0900 0113 or chat via en 113.nl.