Violence and jealousy forms of love? The opinion of young people

AND The “Teen Community” survey was presented today in an emblematic place such as the Casa dei Diritti in Milan: a survey, conducted by Dragonfly FoundationFor investigate the topic of gender violence among young people aged between 14 and 19. It turns out that 48% of adolescents have experienced unwanted physical contact from peers, while 43% have received unwanted sexual requests and attention: these are situations of which they are victims were mostly girls (55%), compared to boys (25%). But the female population is also the one with a greater perception of forms of violence, and the most willing to talk about it.

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Violence against women, what young people think about it

«The fact that girls are predominantly victims of incidents of harassment makes us understand how much this problem is rooted in our culture and how necessary it is therefore to promote active reflection among young people, making schools and families responsible first and foremost», commented Debora Moretti, Founder and President of the Libellula Impresa Sociale Foundation.

Harassment suffered and perception, girls more often victims and more sensitive

Based on the responses of almost 400 research participants, including girls and boys, all aged between 14 and 19, important differences emerge between males and females also with respect to the perception of what violence is. For example, only 33% of boys between 18 and 19 consider it unacceptable for a boy to become violent following betrayal, compared to 79% of girls, or again, only 29% of adolescents disagree that control is not synonymous with love (compared to 48% of girls).

Are jealousy and control forms of love?

The foundations of affection, which should underpin every healthy relationship, appear very confused. Jealousy, possession, aggression and invasion of privacy are considered as an expression of interest and attention on the part of the partner. To the point that important actions are considered little or no forms of violence. As secretly check other people’s cell phones or profiles (39%), prevent your partner from accepting online friendships (33%), ask your partner who and where they are with when they are out (33%), tell your partner what clothes they can or cannot wear wear (26%).

Responsibility and consent: so much confusion

Equally the concepts of individual responsibility and consent they seem to be unclear. In fact, only 53% of people interviewed believe that kiss someone without their consent definitely be a form of violence, while for 15% it is not at all or slightly so. Often these behaviors are normalized and rooted as such in our culture.

A kiss is passion, impulse… or not?

In the ideal of romantic love based there is a drive towards fusion, to the cancellation of boundaries between partners and possession as an indicator of the passion and intensity of the relationship. This contributes to the definition of codified roles and the creation of power relationships. «Normalizing these attitudes will only perpetuate and almost authorize episodes of gender violence: let’s remember that today’s young people will be tomorrow’s adults», continues Debora Moretti.

Talking about emotions (and violence). The differences between males and females

In fact, girls tend to talk more about experiences of violence experienced directly or indirectly with family members, friends or adults. Instead, boys seem to be more likely to not have an emotional comparison networkoften managing these situations alone, probably because expressing one’s emotions is considered “not like a man”.

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