The documentary Verified couple is preceded by a warning. The warning goes off not about the explicit sexual images that may be seen in the film about a real couple – a verified couple – who make money by peddling their sex life online. The warning is addressed to people who are or were victims of sexual or psychological violence. Initially that seemed a bit exaggerated to me, until the film was over and that line at the beginning came back to me. When porn invades the private sphere, anything is possible, it turns out. Then violence can be subtle, abuse loving, dominance desired and aggression unnoticed.
German director Joscha Bongard turns his film into an online experience. With him we scroll through the large, well-known porn sites, click through to ‘amateur sex’ and search within that category for real couples who have ‘real’ sex with each other. He approaches a German couple online. They call themselves Nico Nice and Jamie Young and they respond to Bongard’s request to make a “sex-positive, sensitive and honest documentary” about them. The couple moved from Germany to a villa in Cyprus, where the weather is better and the tax climate is more favorable. They show their bedroom, the gym, the balcony – each room has been the setting for the photos and videos they take.
They look like teenagers, she certainly does. With those big eyes, broad smile and constant giggle, she doesn’t look a day older than 18. When he met her she was 18, he says. She was shopping at H&M with friends. They have been “soulmates” ever since. He was a psychology student at the time, and was eagerly looking for a way to live as independently, as independently and as freely as possible. He dealt in stuff from ‘free pick up’ classifieds for a while. Wasn’t a success. And then he figured out a way to make money doing something that was also free. Sex with Jamie. Or Andreea, because that’s her real name. I never thought that people would actually pay for videos of them together. Why would they, most online porn is free. But in the first month they made $10,000 through Mydirtyhobby. The moment that first payment was made, they say, was the moment they gained “freedom.”
Self-exploitation
You can make money with your house, your car, your belongings and your time. In the platform economy, every part of your existence can be shared and marketed. Pawning your sex life is one small step further in self-exploitation. For Nico then. Because as the film progresses it becomes clear who is exploiting who here. To start with, the big boss behind the dozens of sites on which the two operate. The company MindGeek earned not 10,000 but 30,000 euros from Nico and Jamie’s first month of amateur sex.
Nico is the mastermind that runs Jamie. Her body is in the shop window, her tights, underpants and socks are in great demand among followers, her childish drawing of sex positions are sold. He holds the camera, he decides what needs to be done and he persuades her when she giggles and struggles. Doing threesomes with other girls is also something he does.
It is precisely in the scenes in which they are not engaged in sex that you see how the relationships are. Both do ‘affirmation’ every morning. Say out loud to your reflection how beautiful, good and wonderful you are. “It doesn’t have to be true,” he says. “If you say it to yourself often enough, you will automatically believe it.” He tells himself that he is a king, the best porn actor, loved by everyone. These are all things she also says, but she adds something. “I have a loving relationship with Nico” and “I do what Nico says.”