Torsun in an interview: “I don’t have to be the tough guy who still runs to his death laughing”

In March 2023, news spread via social media: The announced appearances of the Egotronic successor band Torsun & The Stereotronics will no longer be available. Instead, Torsun makes a cancer diagnosis public: “Instead of samples, it’s called palliative chemotherapy because, in consultation with my loved ones, I’ve decided to at least try to wring a little more time out of my ass.” And hey, after all, I’ve been training hard chemo cures for years.” The last statement alludes to the fact that Torsun has not only pulled the local dance floor inside out since the noughties, but also left traces off the stage with his versatile act Egotronic. Above all as a radical hedonist who not only demands the right to intoxication, but celebrates it. But Torsun also made a name for himself as a provocateur in addition to his role as a musician and book author: For example, he put a paper speech about the bombing of Dresden on YouTube, it created, who is surprised? – big vortex. And there are countless other examples, because sharpening and polarizing, that was just his thing.

With SONGS TO DISCUSS IN THERAPY the album by Torsun & The Stereotronics has now been released. There isn’t much time left. When we last met, I experienced him realistically, but still confidently, so to speak. That’s his nature. Nevertheless, the disease is clear – if only in the form of the shaved skull, the untamed black hair has given way to chemotherapy.

At the end of last year you dissolved Egotronic and you were on a big farewell tour – did you already feel that your health was not good?

At these final concerts I had an attack of rheumatism (Ten years ago, Torsun fell ill with rheumatism – editor’s note.). It was hell playing so many concerts in a row with the pain that came with it. After that, my blood sugar also went crazy – because of the cortisone that I had to take for the rheumatism and as if that wasn’t enough, I had caught a cold. I really wasn’t up to it physically. Nevertheless, I remember these concerts as very special. But I also have to say that I realized that I just didn’t feel like it anymore.

Because of the pain?

No, I don’t mean that, I mean this decision, which had become more and more solid for me: that Egotronic simply came to an end for me after two decades. In many ways, the band had also become a company over the years – and being a professional musician is a double-edged sword. If you have your hype, like we did in the late noughties and early tens, that’s all well and good, but after that you become your own business, really with a treasurer, but no flexibility. Maybe I could have set everything up again now, but why? With Egotronic I have achieved everything I ever dreamed of – up to the gig in the Rockpalast.

So the physical didn’t matter?

Honestly? That is not completely right. With Egotronic I’ve braved every shit storm for years. I was never scared, I’ve received hundreds or rather thousands of death threats over time. I could always laugh at this hatred of the fascists, their excitement was a great pleasure for me. But that also had to do with the fact that, thanks to my martial arts training, I felt able to defend myself. We got bottles thrown at a weird rock festival once and my colleague Endi didn’t want to continue playing – understandably – but I just stood there drunk on stage and didn’t even duck. This fearlessness has always accompanied me. But when my own body then turned against me, the realization has now slowly prevailed that I am simply frail, that I could no longer defend myself. Even before cancer and chemo, it became clear to me that I no longer have to face all kinds of shit. (hesitates) But that doesn’t mean that I’m not a loudmouth anymore! (laughs)

The prognosis you came out with sounds very bleak. You have to say goodbye to a reunion on stage – but you still initiated a lot. Music didn’t leave you despite the diagnosis?

I experience the collaboration between me and Christian, who is part of the new band Torsun & The Stereotronics, as a great gift. We complement each other perfectly. In addition, there is my wife Selina, who is now also interested in instruments and no longer limits herself to singing. In this constellation I really want to produce music. The support of the Audiolith label is also important, and they are totally committed to our current record SONGS TO DISCUSS IN THERAPY. They say what else you want to do, Torsun, and we’ll do it. I want to put it this dramatically: As long as I’m still breathing, I’ll make music. Music has been my life since I was thirteen and I’m sure that’s not going to change right now.

There are very confrontational pieces of yours about your rheumatism: “Nature is your enemy” and “Declaration of war (of my own body)” for example. In view of the cancer, do you look at the body differently today, maybe more empathetically?

No, my body is an asshole. During the chemo I experience it even more extreme. When this poison rushes through my veins, it even feels like it’s not my body at all. The song “Declaration of War” is still the best for me, I used to be very happy with and in my body: A lanky guy, but because of the training I always had muscles – but ten years ago this unbelievable pain started, how should it don’t you take that personally? And now the guy wants to kill me too!

Medically asked, is the cancer diagnosis related to the rheumatic disease?

It is unknown. When the band became my job, I got problems with heartburn, I’m sure many musicians know that. It is of course possible that a carcinoma in the esophagus was triggered by the unbelievable number of blatant medications that I have had to take for ten years.

Is it true that you made memes about this terminal diagnosis and then sent them to your friends?

Yes, when I had to share the diagnosis with my best friends, I sent me memes I made myself – just to lighten the mood a bit. (laughs)

Did that work?

Definitely, I got feedback that it was good for people. Of course, they said, “Dude, you can’t bring that!”, but they were probably relieved that I sent something like that straight away. But I also need that myself. To be able to see everything so dryly and to make fun of it. However, I do not want to expect this form of humor from everyone. A musician friend of mine asked the question on Facebook: “What do you think is the ‘No Future’ of punk?” I had already written “Cancer” with a smiley as a comment… but I didn’t press “send” after all .

Are you really that fearless?

No, I don’t want to be seen as such a super strong guy. There were also those moments when I held a clump of my hair in my hand and tears streamed down my eyes. But then it worked again and the next day I said, okay, I’ll shave my head now and then it’ll be fine. But I certainly don’t make funny memes about dying all the time around here. My claim is that I want to deal openly with everything – and don’t just want to keep up appearances. I don’t have to be the tough guy who doesn’t give a damn about cancer and still runs to his death laughing.

You made your diagnosis public. I remember interviews with seriously ill artists, for whom it was important that the outside world didn’t notice anything. In a society trimmed for functionality, illness is also a flaw and is shameful. Did you immediately realize that you wanted to be so transparent?

First of all, I would like to say that I respect any contact that a person with such a diagnosis has. I thought about it too, but ultimately saw no other option. Of course, since we had to cancel a tour, there would have been questions – and I wouldn’t have been in the mood to come up with a tall tale. At the latest when a photo would have appeared of me without hair, everyone would have known about it. If others prefer to hide all this, I can understand it. It just wouldn’t be for me. I’m a very open person – I couldn’t change that now.

Have you thought about the songs to be played at your funeral?

No, but you should really think about it. In any case, I would prefer it if there weren’t such totally sad things. I can remember that someone once wrote to me who told me about his friend’s funeral and that – at his request – our song “Lust Prinzip” was played at the funeral service. The news gave me a lump in my throat, although I actually thought it would be a good piece for a funeral myself…

I can well understand this turning away from sacred sadness, recently I dealt with farewell music in a podcast on the subject of dying. At my funeral, I’d like to have Dolls United’s “An Island With Two Mountains” or O-Zone’s “Dragostea Din Tei.” Anything but minor.

Great shit! “Blue” by Eiffel 65 comes to mind, or “Pump Up The Jam” is playing… great idea. At least I can’t imagine a scenario where you could cry to such a soundtrack.

Although, maybe then?

Yes, who knows … Well, in any case, no pathetically charged stuff should be played, I didn’t want that at our wedding. That should definitely not be at the funeral.

SONGS TO DISCUSS IN THERAPY was released on May 12, 2023. Listen here: