Author and Therapist Tommy Hellsten talks about her loss in the Love Book of Meeri Koutaniemi and Ann-Mari Leinonen.
Tommy Hellsten recounts how, after a great loss, pain was replaced by longing and acceptance. Pasi Liesimaa / IL
Theologian, Author and Therapist Tommy Hellsten70, Carita-wife died unexpectedly in the summer of 2017. The cause of death was sepsis. Before that, Carita had been healthy.
Hellsten tells in a recent Meeri Koutaniemi and Ann-Mari Leinosen In the Book of Love (WSOY), the greatest experience of her life was when she and Carita fell in love and went together.
“If you try to say it, it was something that the whole universe showed that we belong together. That feeling resonates so strongly in both of us that we made infinitely bold decisions as we went together. “Destroyed our own families and dared to be true”Hellsten says.
Hellsten describes their experience in the context of destiny.
“When I look at our love against that background and think about the reason why he was taken away, I understand why that happened. Carita’s death came from behind a tree. He was brought home on Thursday afternoon and had died on Sunday. A man who was in basic health. His death opened the earth beneath my feet. It’s all over, so is my job. ”he says.
After the death of his wife, Hellsten wondered if he could no longer talk about love, for death was a greater force. He says he had faith in everything.
“The second night after Carita’s death, I woke up in so much pain that I lay in bed“ are you Carita here, are you here? I can’t stand it if you disappeared from it. ” And then he came to it. I knew he was there. ”
“The experience was convincing and I realized he hasn’t lost anything, he’s just changed the wavelength. The experience removed from the death the rage and the idea that something went wrong after his death. I realized that was meant to be the case. This went right. Grief and pain disappeared from sorrow, and it was replaced by softness, longing, and acceptance. ”Hellsten says.
The sections in italics are excerpts from Meeri Koutaniemi’s and Ann-Mari Leinonen’s work Love (WSOY). The book will be published on April 20.