Empty your ‘mental poison cup’ and then help others. Tom de Vos, who grew up in Koog aan de Zaan, has had mental problems himself for a long time, but on June 21 – in 16 hours – he will cycle 400 kilometers through all provinces of the country. Together with his ‘good buddy’ Sjors Brand, he collects money for the MIND Foundation, but he thinks one thing is even more important: that mental health should be discussed more.
Tom is now 27 and he is doing better, but things were different a few years ago. “My lowest point was at the age of 21. My private life was completely upside down. A difficult home situation and problems within my own relationship made for a toxic cocktail. Instead of talking about it, I closed myself off completely. No one knew that I felt bad. My Not my girlfriend at the time, not my parents and certainly not my friends.”
That, according to Tom, lies the problem. Groups of friends, often men, who do not dare to talk about feelings with each other. “Men are often macho among themselves. Making jokes, joking here and there, but never really showing feeling. I participated just as hard in that myself. When things went bad, I didn’t tell anyone. No, ignore and carry on. Work hard and reach for the bottle. I drank a lot of alcohol and worked seven days a week. Everything to hide that feeling as deeply as possible.”
His mental problems got worse. “A few times I thought: ‘I can also put an end to it. Then I won’t have that shit anymore’. I walked with those thoughts for half a year. I still didn’t let anyone in: I had to do it by myself doing.”
Turning point
The turning point came when Tom sat at the dinner table with his mother. “She asked, ‘How are you?’ was very relieved.”
His friends were still in limbo for a long time. Tom only told them last week about his mental problems from years ago. “It wasn’t their fault, but I didn’t feel understood at the time. That was sometimes quite lonely. Telling it now is liberating. The relationship I have with them now feels right on a different level. One thing is clear: it is good to ask for help.”
To combine forces
By telling his story and cycling 400 kilometers for charity, he now hopes to help others. On the longest day of the year, June 21, he will go on a bike ride through the provinces together. All this for the MIND Foundation, where young people with mental problems can go for help.
Sjors and Tom hope for as much support as possible. “People can help us by donating money, cycling along or encouraging us. If someone cycles in front of you, they will block the wind. That makes it easier for us to keep up the long journey. The entire route and live stream is can be found through our site.“
The two start early in the morning in Zeeland and expect to drive through the province via Amersfoort and Het Gooi around three o’clock.