Time for the Asi wagon

I’ve just come back from my tour, the “south flank”, i.e. Zurich and Stuttgart. Apart from the already mentioned dwindling audience, there are also other aspects that sometimes make life on such trips difficult. My colleague Tex and I actually like to take the train to keep it easy and not tiring. For a few years, however, German train traffic has mutated into a constantly bubbling source of stress, no train comes on time, the ventilation does not work, the on-board restaurants are closed and the toilets are unaccessible. Then, if you’re unlucky enough to reserve your seat next to a person with social dysfunction, the perceived relaxation can quickly escalate into a maximum aggression disaster.

In Texen’s case (we were in different compartments) it was a lady who pulled out her cell phone immediately after departure and from then on called loudly. How the other person would be doing, she wasn’t doing really well herself. Quote: “First the cough and now the diarrhea, well, hello… HALLOOO… I can’t hear you anymore, something stupid. HAAALLOOOO??? Ah, there you are again, well, and what are the children doing? No, that doesn’t exist, that’s cute, but ponies are cute too! What? WHAT? I don’t understand you at all, Hannelore. haaalloooo? Hahaha, you kind of went away for a while, now you’re back, funny, isn’t it? Well, tell me more…”

For the first half hour you can still endure something like this with gnashing of teeth, but when the grumpy person pulls out the charger and connects the mobile phone, in the meantime continuing to babble loudly and obtrusively to himself, when all the pleading looks and the clearing of the throat in the immediate vicinity lead to none lead to a reaction from the operator, then the level of aggression increases by leaps and bounds.

At least ten people around the lady considered snatching her cell phone and stuffing it down her throat. Alone: ​​Nobody did it. And nobody would do it. Why are we so bad at defending ourselves against the asocialities of individuals? We need complaint buttons on the train, buttons with which we could vote on whether individuals should remain in the compartment. If only enough fellow passengers pressed this button, the nerve subject would be locked in an Asi wagon at the very end of the train, along with cell phone, charger and all the other first-person shooters. I bet this Asi wagon would always be full to bursting. And the buttons would be pushed all the time, not just because of the Asis, but because of the whole screwed-up track itself.

Poodle type action

Now back to something completely different: I announced a few issues ago that Schorsch Kamerun, the Cologne NGO Cologne Cares and I would organize a big auction gala for the victims of the Russian war of aggression in the Ukraine on October 20th, 2022 in the Hamburg theater. Right now, the people there are suffering massively from the terrorist attacks by Russian drones on civilian facilities, and around 30 percent of the energy infrastructure has already been destroyed.

That’s why the “Pudel Art Action” will take place tomorrow, we received fantastic private objects for this auction from many artists and media workers, for example DJ Koze’s Bonanzarad, which inspired him for the first Fishmob single “Bonanzarad”. A bass guitar by Mark Chung / Einsturzende Neubauten. Bela B’s gold record for the Die Ärzte album “The Beast Named Man”. Two blouses by Caren Mioska and Linda Zervakis, which they wore in the “Tagesschau” and “Tagesthemen” respectively. An art print by master painter Daniel Richter. A mandolin by Danny Dziuk, the orchestra leader of Axel Prahl. A western guitar by Axel Prahl.

Three suits, incl. “Wacken Video Suit” by Jan Delay. A guitar by Jan Plewka. A three-part image of Rebelzer. A signed photo of Wim Wenders. A signed and handwritten book by Jarvis Cocker. A signed padel racket by Jürgen Klopp. 26 test pressings of his records by Nils Frahm, autographed. Lars Jessen’s director’s chair for “Fraktus”. A bass guitar from Toten Hosen, signed by everyone. An oil painting on canvas by Robert Draconiannakis. And from Peaches, a print, a costume, and a broken microphone. If you would like to bid on one of these objects, then come on October 20th. at 8 p.m. in the theater, admission is free, or increase here already from home with you.

If you don’t bid for anything but still want to donate, you can do so here via Paypal: [email protected]

If you are looking for more detailed information about Cologne Cares, follow this one link.

The evening begins with a short and factual talk with Kristina and Muwi from Cologne Cares about their work in Ukraine. Thees Uhlmann and his band will serve up a few songs on it. The main point of the evening is finally the auction of the 22 lots, here you are asked to bid. And finally, Erobique will decorate the evening musically with some friends.

We look forward to your numerous appearance or bidding online.

Author photo by Kerstin Behrendt