This cat will lie down with the baby when it cries

Early March: Annemieke Visscher (32) and her friend Kris (35) from Houten have a son, Jonathan. They already have two ex-stray cats. Ori, about seven years old, small and soft sand-colored, who had gone from a decrepit short-haired mother cat with inflamed nipples to a “long-haired super diva” within two months. And male Gami, about four years old, red and white and twice the size of Ori, who soon developed into a cheerful “terror cat” for the neighborhood cats. “But people are his greatest friend,” says Annemieke. “During a renovation, he briefly lived somewhere where there was a two-year-old child. He loved that. She pulled his fur and his tail: he was totally fine with it.”

And how do the cats react to the new baby? “From day one, Ori was in bed with Jona,” says Annemieke. “Really a mother. The other day Jonah was a little weepy because of the heat. Ori was in the garden; she ran in and lay down next to him. When we give the baby to the maternity visit, she always lies next to it.”

Gami doesn’t find the baby very interesting. “But in all the places we intended for Jonah, Gami first also lay, so we first put aluminum foil in the box and the maxi-cosi.” To keep the cat out. “And we have sheepskins everywhere, the cats like that, so we bought extra sheepskins for the baby. We also try to give Gami extra attention. I sometimes feel guilty towards him, but fortunately he has many addresses in the area where he gets sweets or lies on the couch.”

Jealous or territorial

Ensure that you continue to give the animals attention, and provide safe private places for everyone: those tips are also included the brochure Baby and pet recently released by the Behavioral Clinic for Animals at the University Animal Hospital in Utrecht. This is where veterinarians refer dogs and cats with behavioral problems – and parrots, because they are a national expertise point for that. With the brochure in hand, veterinarians can warn their customers about problems and tell them how to prepare themselves and their pet for the arrival of a baby.

“We received a lot of questions about it,” says behavioral biologist Claudia Vinke, who has worked at the behavioral clinic for 26 years. “Some dogs and cats like having a baby in the house; others get really jealous, or territorial.” Parrots too: “They have one social partner, and if that is the baby’s mother, and she no longer pays any attention, you can count on problems. Scream Renades. Or low flying attacks, where you can also work with the beak.”

Now only has 3 per cent of Dutch households have song or ornamental birds (specific parrot figures are unknown), but 23 percent of households have one or more cats and 18 percent have one or more dogs. And sometimes things go horribly wrong between dog and child.

Between 1982 and 2007, eight young children were bitten to death in the Netherlands, according to one report from 2008 from Wageningen UR. Children are usually bitten by a dog they know. Leaving a dog and small child alone together is not a good idea, also because children do not always understand a dog’s warning signs. Between 2010 and 2019, five people died in the Netherlands after being bitten by a dog, according to a report from 2021 of SafetyNL, and one of them was a baby who was bitten to death in Diemen by his grandfather’s dog.

Cats can also harm a baby, says Vinke. “Although you see less aggression in cats; in cats, it is more often the case that the welfare of the animal is affected. Then they go outside to the neighbours. Or if that is not possible, you also see over-brushing behavior: that they lick themselves bald. Or hide, or defecate and pee outside the box. And cats can also suffer in silence, that the owner does not notice.”

Of course, you should continue to make time to cuddle and play with dogs and cats when there is a new baby, but Vinke also advises to prepare dogs and cats for upcoming family expansion. And yes, cats can also be ‘trained’ a bit in that regard. “You can already teach them that they are no longer allowed to come to certain places. And smells are very important for a cat. Let them smell baby wipes. Or play soft baby sounds to get used to. Animals hear overtones that we cannot hear, even with a violin, saxophone or clarinet, for example. Baby cries can be very annoying for them.”

Hugging every day

The beginning of May. Jonas was born in Amsterdam, son of Esther Hemelrijk (38), Leon Straates (41) and Roy Rekers (48). Leon and Roy live twenty minutes by bike from Esther, but since the birth of Jonas they all live together for a short time, in her house. “For the bonding”, Leon says. “We are working towards half a week with the fathers and half a week here,” Esther adds. Frisco, the hangover of Leon and Roy, is also with us. “When Leon and I first moved in together,” says Roy, “we went looking for a large houseplant. We came home with a kitten.” Frisco, tabby with a white, pink nose, is now 15.

The hangover is “not entirely enthusiastic about Jonas,” says Esther. “At night he sometimes cries along, in about the same tone, so that sometimes you don’t know who you hear. He also looks for quiet places. And when he sees Jonas, he turns around. But the fathers make sure they cuddle with Frisco every day.”

No, they’re not worried about Frisco, says Leon. “He is used to little unrest and he is now suddenly in a strange house, he misses the garden… but soon he will have his own permanent places again.” “And when I sit on the couch with Jonas at night, I try very gently to introduce Frisco to his scent,” says Roy. “I think he’s avoiding Jonas because there’s so much noise coming out of it, but he didn’t blow at him.”

Baby cry

“A baby’s crying resembles the sound cats make when they face each other in a confrontation,” says cat behavior therapist Liesbeth Puts from Zeist, who has written several advice books about cat behavior. “That is why some cats react quite violently to a crying baby.” She often gets questions about cats and babies and has them on her site a separate page made about it, with tips such as: get the cat used to smells, baby sounds and baby stuff at an early age and don’t forget to clean the litter box as often as before, during pregnancy and when the baby is here.

Puts occasionally got questions about a cat that was afraid of the baby, or withdrew until the baby was asleep, but in thirteen years she has only seen one cat in therapy that became aggressive because of baby cries.

In Utrecht, Claudia Vinke receives remarkably few cats with (not just baby-related) behavioral problems anyway: twenty cats per year and one hundred and twenty dogs, while the Netherlands has 1.8 million dogs and 3 million house cats. counts. “Many people may send their cat outside if it is annoying,” says Vinke. “Or people are willing to pay less for a cat than for a dog. With us, a consultation easily costs 300 euros. People with cats often say that they will ‘continue looking’, but we don’t know what that means. Put out? Euthanasia? Yes, that happens. In our profession we see very beautiful things, but also very unpleasant ones.”

She also regularly encounters aggressive dogs. “No, you don’t always get that right, and if a baby comes along, I’m not going to try it either. We can usually prevent problems by advising relocation in time. But that is very bad advice.” She also thinks, although she does not want to point the finger, that it is often better to only get a dog when your child is a bit bigger. “Then it is nice to have a puppy, from a good breeder, grow up with the family.”

If you already have a dog, she thinks you should train it for the arrival of a baby if you only have a desire to have children. “Get the dog used to children’s cries, a pram, talking and acting silly to a baby doll. There are quite a lot of sensitive dogs. And observe your dog if he sees children on the street. Does he behave fearfully or aggressively? Then just visit a qualified animal behavior therapist.”

No Instagram moment

Last week, Diederik Jekel (39) and his fiancee Eline Schmeets (34) had a son: Matthias. In and around their house in Zaltbommel they had already fully prepared their border collie Lola, one year old. “My partner in particular took a very systematic approach to this,” says Diederik. “I am a science journalist, but she is a scientist. She has read a lot about it. And dog behavior therapist Arvid van Putten helped us a lot. Look, Lola didn’t choose to come into our lives either, we don’t want to put her in a situation where she’s doing something wrong.”

The parents-to-be had already created a quiet place in the living room for Lola, and taught her a command (“place!”) to go there. The playpen and baby chair had been there for months, for Lola to get used to. They had already practiced walking the dog and the pram when it was still empty, “although that is different from a crying, smelly child in it.”

Around the time of delivery, they had parents, neighbors and a walking service on standby, so that the dog could continue to walk a lot no matter what. “And a first meeting between baby and dog is not an Instagram moment,” says Diederik. “That should be a safe moment with peace and focus. You can’t say to our dog: here, a baby, we’ll put you both on the couch and have a look. What we recommend in any case: keep in touch with a good trainer, because every phase of the child – crawling, walking – also creates a new situation for the dog.