the wonder chair

What led the Austrian Praise to celebrate 3-1 by lifting a chair? I asked myself, you asked yourself and millions of people around the world right now, in Tomelloso, in Washington and in Manila. And you are not going to believe it, but I have a theory about it. because you know that Praise He arrived in Madrid this summer and plays all the games from the first day.

In other words, he has been listening to the classic song that the fans dedicate to Juanito: ‘Illa, illa, illa, Juanito marvelous’; this is something popular and well known. And what has happened here? Well, Alaba still has difficulties with the Spanish language and has been confused all season.

In every minute 7 of every match at the Bernabéu, he listens, because he understands it like this: ‘Chair, chair, chair, Juanito is amazing’. Perhaps it seemed strange to you the first time, but when you arrive in a foreign country you assume that there are traditions that shock you a little. “Those are his traditions and must be respected”.

gigantic mystery

So Praise He has spent the whole year convinced that Madrid feels maximum devotion to a chair. That chair is a super important object, like the image of a virgin to be carried out in procession, like the carved sculpture of our Lord, like the gold amulet that is inherited in a family for centuries and from generation to generation.

I feel sorry for Modric, for Benzema, for Mbappé and for the others, but something tells me that in a few years, when someone tells me about Madrid-PSG in 2022, I will remember nothing better than David Alaba lifting a chair. No more. That will be my photograph.

Praise took in all this in silence, not daring to ask about this gigantic mystery, and suddenly Benzema he scored the third against PSG, completing the miraculous comeback, and in full euphoric and mystical sprawl, what appeared to Alaba on the Bernabéu wing? A CHAIR. The fucking chair, finally. It couldn’t be coincidence. That chair was, without a doubt, the famous wonder chair.

magical thinking

In reality, in Madrid it is not so rare to cultivate that type of magical thinking, to have the point of view somewhat diverted. In fact, that is one of its best features. We are now entering that stage of the season in which all the rivals seem very complicated. You take the calendar of your team, you start to make accounts from here until the end of the League and you see all the games very difficult.

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If you play against those who are up, logically, because they must be very good if they are up. If you play against those who are in nobody’s zone, in the middle of the table, you think that nothing is at stake and they will compete without pressure and therefore they will be a real danger. And if you play against those below, then I don’t even tell you. If you play against those below you will surely suffer because they will go to the death and compete to the limit because they are risking their lives. This happens to almost all of us, adults and children.

Those of us who think like this are not fit to play for Madrid. If you play for Madrid you have to think that you are going to beat anyone, even if you sometimes lose. If you play for Madrid and you are two goals down against Messi, Neymar and Mbappe, you have to think that somehow you are going to make them mush. And do it, just because, and celebrate it by raising a chair.

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