The hands are fixed, the eyes are blindfolded. BDSM – a tightrope walk between “Fifty Shades of Gray” thoughts and real play between dominance and devotion; pain and devotion.
What is the appeal of this constellation? When does one surrender voluntarily, and what rules should one follow in any case? Tips and hints for beginners are e.g. B. the website bdsm-workshops.com
Why do men (often women too) enter a world of submission at all? After all, we live in a time of equality. But is devotion actually giving in to the male personality? Or isn’t a woman more likely to show strength?
Shumana is a sub herself, but is constantly challenged in everyday work as a person responsible for men: “It’s the moment of relinquishing control, of complete submission,” she says of her dark passion. “For me it is a gift that I give to a man. I give myself to him of my own free will.”
She emphasizes: “He must be able to take on responsibility. Because then I can let myself go completely – as a balance to my job!”
What do you have to consider as a BDSM beginner? It’s not about playing out any (film) fantasies. Rather, a couple should discover their own world. Each couple must define the interplay of dominance and devotion, power and purpose for themselves.
“There is no general guide to how to play,” says BDSM coach and workshop leader Sir Stephen. Communication is crucial! Because it has to be found out in a conversation which aspects of BDSM are important for the respective partner.
Is it the pain of pleasure, the slap on the butt? Or commanding, serving or rather the loss of control? BDSM is multifaceted and offers a wide range of play options.
What always applies, however, emphasizes the expert, is the definition of a stop word: “This is a prerequisite for every game, especially for BDSM beginners,” says Sir Stephen. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a tomato, a cat or a refrigerator: Saying this word leads to the immediate termination of the game.
Just as one should discuss wishes and preferences in advance, boundaries must also be clearly stated. Here, too, the following applies: “Communication with the partner is always important, not just at the beginning, but continuously,” says Sir Stephen.