The lead role in the Priscilla musical drew Clarissa Jäärni into deep waters

Priscilla, Queen of the Desert -the movie made a teenager Clarissa Aries indelible influence.

When the main role in the musical based on the 1994 film opened up in Finland, friends directly pressured Jäärn to apply for it.

Now Jäärni has returned to the stage after a ten-year hiatus and plays the lead role in a musical about the journey of three drag queens in the Australian outback.

The main character, transwoman Bernadette, is a classic diva, “refined and elegant down to the tips of her fingers”, Jäärni describes. While building the character, he has sometimes been in deep waters.

– I tried to capture the feelings of what it was like to live as a trans woman in society in the 1960s and 70s, says Jäärni.

– The character has a lot of inner strength and fire without being terribly embittered.

During his ten-year hiatus, Jäärni hadn’t even thought about returning to the stage. When the role opened last fall, Jäärni was between part-time work contracts and the time was right.

The time has also been suitable for this kind of musical, he believes.

– The musical has contemporary themes, a lot of color and splendor, Jäärni describes.

The reception has been dazzling. Jäärni’s performance in the role has been incensed, and the musical has been performed to full houses since its premiere.

True to himself

Jäärni has a background as a dancer, but ten years ago it was difficult to enjoy performing.

– I had never been terribly angry with myself.

In 2008, Jäärni won the Miss Drag Queen competition and although the victory felt great, I was left with disappointment. Jäärni understood that it was not the final goal.

Before the gender reassignment process, the drag show served as a kind of therapy for Jäärni. It wasn’t until winning the competition that he crystallized what he had always known to some extent.

– I suffered for an awfully long time – since childhood in that condition.

A lot of drag gigs were also done for money, but the experience prompted Jäärn to start a thinking process with himself about who he is and how it is good and natural for him to be.

The future scared, to be exact, other people.

– I was aware that it is possible that everything will work out. Family, friends, possessions – which I lost when I lost my job.

– Despite that, I decided to stand behind myself. To be true to myself.

Around that time, Jäärni moved to Berlin and began studying journalism.

The joy of aging

The most challenging part of the role of Bernadette has been the age difference between the character and the actress. When preparing for his role, Jäärni has followed his own mother a lot and tried to channel into his acting, for example, how a person’s way of looking at the world changes as he ages.

– Many women develop a certain sense of self-worth as they age, which is really wonderful. It has been really educational for me.

A comprehensive musical role has also taken its toll on Jäärni, who turned 40 this year. The range of emotions is huge. On stage, we “kick the balls”, we become widows, we cry, riot and faint.

As a counterweight, Aries withdraws into its own circumstances. The secret vice is TV interior design shows.

– I’m a bit of a social recluse in my free time anyway, Jäärni laughs.

The next dream role would be grittier and brash. For example, an unshakable lawyer in a suit. Jäärni doesn’t think he’ll be able to do trans roles anymore.

– Unfortunately, they are so rare in scripts.

Jäärni names the actress Marlene Dietrich as her role model. The star who broke gender stereotypes in the golden 1920s comes surprisingly close to Jäärni. In Berlin, he lived in Dietrich’s birthplace. The star’s grave was across the street, on Stuberauchstrasse.

For Jäärni himself, the role of role model feels a bit special.

– I am a very happy person now. Today, many see me exclusively through that one feature and many think that it is somehow a big part of my personality. I don’t even actively remember the whole thing and my friends often forget it too.