Froukje Jackson and Irma van Steijn are both mental health psychologists at Maarsingh & van Steijn. Froukje in Groningen and Irma in Leeuwarden. They alternately write a weekly anonymized column about what they experience in the consulting room, among other things. [email protected] or [email protected].
You are not the clothes you wear. You are not your job. You are not the role you play in life. You are not your complaints. You are not even your own name.
Sasha is a young woman in her twenties. She is full of life and bursting with energy. She moved from a small village in Drenthe to the city of Groningen two years ago to immerse herself in student life. And it worked. She enjoys studying Linguistics, has joined a rowing club, has a rich social life and a nice part-time job in a sandwich shop.
Woke up with an elephant on her chest
In short: student life did not disappoint. Until one day, with the exam period approaching, she woke up with the feeling that an elephant had sat on her chest. She had trouble breathing, felt anxious and panicky. Thoughts about a multitude of topics raced through her mind at a rapid pace. She Googled the symptoms and started following some people on Instagram and Tiktok, who made videos about the subject.
By the time she first came to me, she was sure. She had a panic disorder, and that wasn’t something you could easily get rid of, according to her thorough research. This threatening conclusion had little effect on her feelings of unrest. And it certainly didn’t make the big elephant on her chest stand up.
With her complaints in one rabbit hole
In an attempt to regain control over her complaints, she continued her search. The algorithms of the programs on her phone proved to be very helpful, and kept providing her with new information about fear and panic. As a result, she sank further into her complaints, and also became stuck in ‘ the rabbit hole ‘ from social media. (This term is used to describe a wild search on the Internet, where someone ends up with information that they did not necessarily want to know. This can start with tomorrow’s weather forecast, continue with racing bike specifications and end an hour later with the fauna on Schiermonnikoog).
So there sat Sasha. With her complaints. In a rabbit hole . We worked on the ability to zoom out of her life, so to speak. To become less entangled in details, but to view oneself, thought patterns and social media from a distance. She learned to see the subjects of her concerns as objects that she carries into her life in a figuratively large transparent backpack. She can choose what she does with it. Does she take the topics with her? Or does she sometimes choose to leave some baggage behind?