Antonella Baccaro (photo by Carlo Furgeri Gilbert).
TOI was almost thirty years old when the civil status of “unmarried”, which at that moment belonged to me, became the subject of a debate cultural like the disappearance of dinosaurs from the earth.
Until that moment, the attention paid to the condition of our left ring finger was limited to parties with relatives, during which the continuing “spinsterhood” (this is the scientific term) was investigated without too much restraint.
In the beginning it was Bridget Jones, the bungling protagonist of a book (and then three films) in 1995, to generate reflection on those who were promoted to “single”. She went from stereotype to stereotype: the sour and unfashionable spinster was transformed into the pleasure-loving and spendthrift single.
The market dictated the law, deciding to capture once and for all a segment of potential big spenders, betting that their emotional shortcomings could be filled by a full trolleya session with the beautician, a brand new bag.
Carrie Bradshaw was the one who decreed the victory of this modelbeloved protagonist of six successful seasons of the TV series from 1998 to 2004 Sex and the City. Here the authors certainly focused on the fashionable obsession of the protagonists but also on their sexual voracity, using language and staging situations that were explicit to say the least.
Was it true glory? And especially what happens to that revolution in 2023? On the positive side, there is the more proactive role gained by the category in society, with the consequent proposition of serious problems, such as those relating to the economic situation for many single (mothers) or their rights (foster care, adoption, sexual freedom).
The social aspect remained behind, that marginalization of people without a permanent partner that continues, especially in the smallest and most backward communities. Singleness is no longer limited to a specific age, which for women coincided with the biological impossibility of procreating, but spreads into old age and involves the younger generations.
If it is true, in fact, that the latter have definitively broken the classic patterns of relationships, this it does not mean that the most problematic aspect, represented by the multiplication of solitudes, can be considered overcome. On the contrary. If the social stigma among young people now appears to be declining, what emerges is a general difficulty in finding a common code, overcoming the bottlenecks of relationships, and reaching mature ones.
Single once was who he wanted to love. Today, those who no longer even know if they want to do it.
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