The Defective Relationships of Ester Viola. Anger after a story

In my story, I would say that things had ended almost well; then, almost out of nowhere, there was the need to scream old and new things, negative sentences, re-emphasize all the mistakes of the past, add others. What obsession do people have with anger?

Couldn’t we simply accept the pain that a separation entails, instead of having to reiterate the impossibility of dialogue, of understanding?
P.

Ester Viola’s answer

Dear P.,

With every email you write to me you tire me, I’m happy. For the next time I will answer by giving you the Letters to friends by Céline (if you haven’t already read).

Today you would like the reasons for hatred from me. There they are, but he answers Francesco Piccolo. Maximum systems with (apparent) minimum effort to make them understand.

Ask why love doesn’t work as pretty as a music box. How is it possible that the couple is such a weak construction? And why, if we understand that we are in couples that are not exactly sparkling, do we not leave? And why do we tend to suck if we leave? What is this new feeling? Will it be hate?

The point is that hate is not where you put it in the end. Start first, much earlier.

“People who are together for a long time, even if they love each other a lot, from a certain point onwards experience deeply, and inevitably, a feeling that accompanies everyone else: dislike. In a couple, from a certain point on, we dislike each other, and although many instinctively deny it, it is unavoidable. It happens to classmates at school, to friends who adore each other but then go on vacation together and can’t stand each other anymore, to people who are in total harmony and then share the house for three months and in a subtle way (sometimes even not subtly ) hate each other. And then, after a period of separation, they regain complicity And they even enjoy the memory of that antipathy, that they no longer recognize. On the other hand, two who are together never really go away again, and in this way that antipathy solidifies, goes deep, is the basis of many gestures and many words. And it coexists very well with love ”(Dai Momenti, 3).

And imagine when we break up. If it is true that there are as many sentences as there are heads, as many kinds of love as there are hearts, said the one from the Russian winters. So also several ways to break up. With an independent variable: you always find a little anger.

1) We leave each other in a semi-painless way by the will of both

Rare case as much as the unicorn. When one agrees to quiet souls, they are mostly aligned stars, it is not will or superiority of character. Both have another person, there are no children to make suffer with the partitions. The percentage in the basket is so ridiculous that I would not even consider it as a school hypothesis.

2) We leave each other because one has already settled elsewhere, regardless or almost regardless of the pain that is about to cause.

A little anger here seems normal to me.

3) We leave each other because one, the most exploited by the oppression of the other, has no other option than to leave

Here even more than a little. For the misery.

Anger. We are little limping sub-men, said the other, the Frenchman. Any work of self-persuasion after a disappointment would never live up to a precise fact: in one way or another they have abandoned us.

But I don’t think this anger, hatred, annoyance – let’s call it what we like – should be taken as a spoonful of poison, P.

Is that just one part of love involves admitting addiction. We like it or not (not). AND how can you not be angry, not to feel hate, if the truth is that alone, now, is no longer enough and that it is someone else’s fault? Worse: another one you have no power over?

Read here all the bad relationships of Ester Viola.

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