– Die to what is not chosen
It is natural that certain decisions cost, bother and hurt. One reason is that we often fear regret. For this, it is key to understand that deciding is cutting a part of reality and deliberately letting go of potential realities. That is the price of free will. Nothing is more sterile than, when opting for a certain option, consistently measuring it against what would have happened if one of the others was chosen. If we proceed in this way, we reduce the commitment to the selected alternative, unconsciously increasing the chances of failure, as if it were a self-fulfilling prophecy.
– Regulate dysfunctional emotions
Being in regulation of dysfunctional emotions -especially anger and fear- is a necessary condition to ensure a minimum of quality in the decision.
Reacting with anger can lead us to a vicious circle in which the other party will react more strongly, dragging everyone into the realm of lose-lose. It is important to avoid impulsive reaction. Seek to defer it, sublimate it, find the delicate balance between taking negativity out, but without reacting from anger.
Fear is closely related to the unknown, with the future, with death, with what they will say, with failure. However, this feeling generally has a fictitious component. There is a point at which the mind does not distinguish reality from fantasy (that is why horror movies scare us); and this can take away a lot of assertiveness from the analysis when deciding. Fear is imaginary. But the risk is real.
Measuring risk is key when considering alternatives, but doing so should be something that reduces fear, not increases it. Excessive fear can drag us into what is known as “paralysis by analysis”, delaying the election indefinitely. Alternatives are wearing out, enthusiasm is eroding, available money loses its value, and so on.
The worst thing that can happen to us is that a negative emotion decides for us.
– Vibration contaminates argument
Many times we make emotional decisions that we later rationalize after the fact, instead of reasoning about them a priori, regulating the emotion. It happens that we are very good at finding -or inventing!- rational arguments to justify a decision based on fear, or anger, or some other dysfunctional emotion. It is important for this to be attentive to the “law of attraction”, which ensures that similarity attracts similarity. That is, the feeling from which a decision starts, will permeate what we do, no matter how “rational” or positive it may seem.
– Balance intuition and intellect
Intuition is that quick intelligence, with which we make decisions automatically, generally in the world of everyday life. You can rely on intuition for simple decisions.
The intellect, for its part, is linked to the logical-rational, and serves to structure, plan and speculate. It is useful for complex and high impact decisions. Intellectual processing ensures quality in the decision process, but on the other hand exhausts, stresses, consumes glucose and energy.
The secret is:
a) Do not use the intellect for easy decisions, because it is like killing mosquitoes with a cannon.
b) Do not rely only on intuition for important decisions. Since it can be fast, but it is incomplete when it comes to weighing objectives, contrasting alternatives, building probabilities.
Cheering up to die to what is not chosen, committing one hundred percent (at least for a while) to the selected option, regulating dysfunctional emotions, and balancing intuition and intellect are the basis of any good decision.
ezekiel starobinsky
Author of the book “The Art of Deciding”, Professor “Theory of Decision”, Bank Manager, Master in Economics.
Contact information:
instagram.com/ezequielstarobinsky
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