This is what Elise Tamaëla (39) always thought about leaders: they are people who like to be figureheads, distribute tasks, give orders, stand above the group, and go the extra mile. Then she – a former tennis professional – was asked to become national coach of the Dutch tennis women a year and a half ago. “I do want this. But I’m not like that,” she thought.
Still, she said yes. Even though she may naturally prefer to be seen as unimportant, to shield herself, and not to seek out too much tension. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine – that feels familiar to her. “I found it all very exciting,” says Tamaëla at the National Tennis Center in Amstelveen, “but in the end I grew into it.”
I am not a born leader, you said when you started as national coach.
“That had to do with my idea about leadership. That it must always be very hierarchical. Maybe a bit strange to think like that, but that’s just how it was in my head.”
Have you been looking for a way to become that way, or to do it differently?
“I would never go there, I don’t like that way of working at all. So I wanted to take on that task, but from my own perspective.”
How do you start such a search?
“I have had conversations with my girlfriend, family, also with players. And I took theater lessons for a year. That has given me confidence.”
It was about self-confidence?
“I felt the need to work with a little more courage. That I have something in my mind and dare to express it. Can better convey why I believe in certain choices.”
How did the theater classes help with this?
“It was a kind of movement theatre. You learn to put yourself out there. I naturally make myself quite small and sit a bit backwards. I wanted to learn to radiate confidence and feel good about it. I enjoyed it immensely. Being able to show emotion with your body, with your voice – that is all very useful in my new role. And also for the rest of my life, by the way.”
Have you told the players?
[Ze lacht] “Yes, I just said that. They laughed at me a bit about it. I thought it was funny again. And I’m almost certain that they have also thought about what something like that could mean for you.”
You have previously trained individual players. Now you have to create a team feeling for the first time. How do you do that?
“In the beginning I had one-on-one conversations with everyone. What do you need? What can I help you with? I want to know how they feel, if I can help improve that. Tennis is of course a very individualistic sport. Those girls almost never play in a team. They are all each other’s competitors. Their lives are very much focused on themselves: what do I want to eat tonight, what time do I want to have breakfast tomorrow, how can I best organize my training? In a week where we’re playing for the Billie Jean King Cup, suddenly we’re a team. They are not used to that at all.”
You didn’t either in your career as a player and later as a coach, right?
“No, but I always enjoyed playing with a team. Actually, maybe I should have thought a little more about myself when I was still playing tennis. I was never so concerned with what I wanted.”
Now that fits in with your role.
“If others feel good, then I feel good too – now that is ideal. I notice that there are big differences between players. Some girls really have to run their own program, with their own coach. They are a little less team player. If you want to involve those girls in everything, let them have breakfast together, play games, then they will be exhausted when they have to go on the court.
“So we have to look for the best way to develop a team feeling. For a number of months now I have been trying to train with some of those girls here in Amstelveen every week. Quite difficult, because they play tournaments all over the world. But if they succeed, they can make each other better. That also works well for men.”
Some players have canceled this year’s BJK Cup. That makes it quite difficult for you to put together a team.
“That’s right.”
You were critical when Arantxa Rus and Arianne Hartono did not make themselves available. They preferred to play individual tournaments.
“I hope this generation gets the feeling: I want to play for my country. I really understand that you have to get points for the world rankings, and sometimes just play tournaments to earn money. In Arantxa’s case, her father was also very ill. So it makes sense why girls sometimes make that choice.
“But I do think that many girls are very focused on their own career and their personal ranking. There is more than that. Hearing the Wilhelmus, wearing the uniform of the national selection, there are so many people who would be incredibly proud of that. It is sometimes a shame that the girls now seem to have less feeling about this. Although I must say that everyone is now back and I also had to let someone lose weight during the last selection. So there is development. And moreover: it is my job to ensure that everyone wants to be there.”
You stopped as a player for a while because you wanted to explore outside of tennis. Then you started studying physiotherapy.
“I love the game, but I also want to learn something off the court – that’s what I try to pass on to the girls. It often happens that they train for four hours and spend the rest of the day on the couch. Scrolling on their phone. I think that’s a shame. I know they are younger than me, but still… I have now started studying again. Rights. I have no idea if I will ever do anything with it, but it seems very interesting.”
What happens to you if you don’t do things like that? If you don’t broaden your view?
“Then I crawl into myself a bit. My world then becomes small and I think that’s a shame.”
How does it help you?
“It can take pressure off. That you are not just concerned with performance. Many girls have a life that is focused solely on tennis from an early age. It can be helpful to ask the question: is this good for me?”
Famous players such as Naomi Osaka and Bianca Andreescu stopped playing tennis for a while because the pressure became too much for them.
“I think it has to do with this. That hyperfocus on success, which puts you in an annoying tunnel. If you’re just Naomi Osaka the tennis star, and nothing else to anyone else… there’s a lot of pressure on you. She is also a very big star in Japan, and she receives huge amounts of sponsorship. That can kill you.”
You guided Kiki Bertens, who has now stopped. She also did not feel completely at home in the tennis world.
“Kiki is actually a team athlete. She can play tennis very well and hates losing. That’s why she was able to push herself so far. But she didn’t always like the world. Many people talk about money, about buying expensive things. She is a family woman and prefers to be at home. That was a continuous struggle for her. We understood each other in that. Sometimes we would play games together, while everyone was very serious about tennis. That worked for her.”
Can a player really be top if she doesn’t feel good?
“Some yes, some no. Kiki has felt really bad at times in her career. If I had felt that way, I would have given up all the competitions. Then I would have thought: find out. But she became number four in the world. It’s unprecedented that she could do that.”
What made that work?
“She was just able to push herself very hard, and she could play tennis very well. That horrible hatred of losing was also important.”
That can be so strong?
“I think so. But in the really long term it is difficult. At some point you hit the wall.”
Does this also include the potentially damaging element of top sport?
“Yes, constantly pushing your boundaries. That’s not always fun. But sometimes it is also necessary in top sport. It can also be physically nice. Mentally it is sometimes possible, but not year in, year out.”
How do you walk that tightrope as a coach?
“Listen carefully, I think. Knowing how a player feels. Then you sense when you can push the boundaries, perhaps just go beyond them. That you can push, or not.”
If you are going to push, is that always in consultation? How do you lead people across boundaries?
“You don’t have to discuss everything. This is the job of a coach. Determine the intensity. Screw up and scale down. During a tough training session, see how things are going, or whether they are still going well. At a certain point, that space was no longer there for Kiki. Every morning I had to indicate exactly what effort she had to make that day. Then she prepared for it and executed it. Full power, but really nothing more. That’s actually not a way of working.”
Because that shows you that someone…
“… It’s not going to last. She made a comeback after an injury and was never pain-free again. So we also agreed on this: this is how we will enter the final year. Everything in consultation. And that went well, but it’s actually not good, not even for me as a coach. Because I felt that she actually didn’t want it anymore. Because it was discussed, it was possible. And now we can laugh about it together. It didn’t ruin our bond.”
If you see that a person would be happier without a top sports career, should you bring that up for discussion?
“I recently had a conversation about this with a player. It often helps that you are allowed to say it. You don’t even have to do anything with it. But doing something that doesn’t make you happy can really break you. You also see it in the artist world. I saw a documentary about Avicii, the world-famous Swedish DJ, who died very young. His family then revealed that the success was too much for him, that the extreme stress did not suit his personality. The people around you must protect you. As a coach, that is absolutely part of your job.”
You can also say: if you open the door to quitting, you will never be able to perform at your best again.
“But what is more important? Maybe I’m too human in that. But for me, not everything has to give way to tennis.”
Was there room for this when you played yourself?
“No, I never really talked about that, I didn’t really feel that space. I don’t know if the understanding was there. Now many players are speaking out and that is good. Then I had to explore what could work for me.”
Have you changed in the last year and a half as national coach?
“Everything is more spontaneous now. I feel more comfortable in my role. But changed? No, I do not think so.”
Have the doubts you had in the beginning disappeared?
“There is always a little voice in my head that says: hey, national coach, can you do that? But I’ll just let that thought go now. I feel in my place now.”
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