Fiorenza Sarzanini (photo by Carlo Furgeri Gilbert).
C‘is an investigation of Save the Children which dramatically reveals the risk of “toxic” relationships between teenagers. It was carried out on 800 children aged between 14 and 18 and provided surprising answers, especially when the topic of controlling others was addressed.
Well 30 percent of those interviewed believe that “jealousy is a sign of love” and 19 percent admitted to having been “frightened by their partner with violent behaviour, such as slaps, punches, pushes, throwing objects”.
An entire chapter of the report carried out by the organization’s experts is dedicated to “harmful and violent behavior” and highlights that «65 percent of these girls and boys say they have experienced at least one controlling behavior from their partner, such as the request not to accept contacts from someone on social media (42 percent); to no longer go out with people (40 percent); to be able to control their profiles on social media (39 percent); not to dress in a certain way (32 percent); up to being told, in a moment of difficulty in the relationship, that the partner would have committed an extreme act by harming himself (25 percent)”.
In the introduction of the dossier it is specified that «adolescence represents a phase of life in which the encounter with the other is the cornerstone for development. Forming friendly and emotional relationships represents, in fact, the way in which the adolescent separates from the family unit to assert his own identitystarting from the comparison with peers, including the first sentimental bonds” and for this reason the need to answer a fundamental question is underlined: how are these bonds built?
The boys’ answers reveal the complexity of relationships, but in many cases also the lack of perception of danger: «52 percent of adolescents in couples declare that they have suffered, at least once, violent behavior, such as being insistently called on the phone to find out where we were (34 percent); being the subject of violent language, with shouts and insults (29 percent); being blackmailed into doing something you didn’t want to do (23 percent); persistently receiving requests for intimate photos (20); sharing intimate photos with others without consent (15 percent). In this case, 47 percent declare that they have acted out these behaviors towards their partner at least once.”
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