Talking, walking, cooking together. At Viore’s relatives’ group in Hilversum, fellow sufferers can meet and talk about their grieving process. Another group will start soon. Director Miranda van den Eijnden: “Sometimes you don’t want to tell your story to the neighbor again, then you can contact us.”
“You are not sick, but you do carry mourning with you,” says Rens Hemelsoet. He supervises Viore’s next of kin group and is himself an expert by experience. “My wife passed away in 2016, after a three-year illness. That was a tough time and with my experience I can now help others.”
Viore in Hilversum is a walk-in center for anyone who has to deal with cancer. “These are patients, but also the people around them,” says director Miranda van den Eijnden. “Between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., anyone can visit us for a cup of coffee and a chat.”
In practice, it sometimes proves difficult to recruit participants for the surviving relatives group. “People have to cross a threshold to share their – often emotional – story with strangers. And not everyone knows that relatives are also welcome at Viore,” says Rens.
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Rens Hemelsoet: “Relatives recognize a lot in each other’s story.” – NH News
Most relatives report three to six months after they have lost a loved one. “Then the first, intense period of mourning is over, many practical matters have been dealt with. People have the feeling that life continues around them; they do not want to bother friends and family again with their story. while the need remains to talk about the lack,” says Rens.
The next of kin group consists of eight meetings. “During the introduction, everyone tells his or her story. But there are also all kinds of other activities on the program, such as walking and cooking,” says Rens. He emphasizes that there are no extensive therapy sessions on the program. “We are looking for different angles to talk about grief. Often people also need all kinds of practical tips from each other.”
Missing remains
Rens cordially invites interested relatives to come forward. “We want to be accessible, everyone is welcome.” And what does this group bring to the next of kin? “A lot of recognition. People feel connected to each other because they hear the stories of others.”
In addition, people learn to deal with the loss of a loved one. “That sadness does not go away, as is often thought, but it can become part of your life. It is part of it and you can share it with others,” says Rens.
Viore
The Viore Foundation in Hilversum is a center for people living with cancer, both patients and people around them. Walk-in, information, activities and support are central. The volunteers are called tourist offices. “That stands for a safe, trusted stranger,” says director Miranda van den Eijnden. “Because sometimes it’s easier to tell your story to a safe and trusted stranger than to friends or family,” says Miranda.
The next one starts at the end of October next of kin groupyou can register by sending an email to [email protected]. After that, participants can choose to join the follow-up group once a month.