According to Pia Penttala, a day at the amusement park does not replace the impersonality of everyday life.
Psychotherapist Pia Penttala, 53, has been working in child protection for over thirty years. She has also gained merit as Finland’s supernanny, who disrupts the everyday lives of families with children on television.
But she has also had her bad moments as a mother.
– When I got home, I could already start screaming in the yard and throw the children’s sneakers and backpacks out if they were left in the middle of the hall floor, Penttala recalls.
His children are now 32, 28 and 25 years old. And they have become very smart adults.
– As a mother, I see that I have succeeded in the fact that all my children keep in touch with each other of their own accord. And they still tell us parents about their lives, Penttala is happy.
– Parenthood is not an achievement. And children don’t get spoiled easily, he reminds.
Pia Penttala has more than thirty years of experience in child protection work. Inka Soveri
Bringer of security
Penttala has become familiar to people of all ages through television. There are plenty of sleeve-jerking people in the markets.
– The parents and grandparents thank the program and say that they have worked hard at home, that if things don’t change, a supernanny will be called. Young adults, on the other hand, come to talk about their little siblings or their own childhood, Penttala says.
And scaring the little ones with a nanny no longer works, because the children also love Penttala and want to take a picture with her.
– I am perceived as a kind of bringer of security and joy. For example, the children might show me their own rules that they have made for their pets, Penttala laughs.
Grown ups
In the program, the supernanny writes down the family rules on a flipchart. And even though you might suddenly think that the rules are specifically for children, yes, organizing the family’s everyday life and relationship dynamics primarily starts with the adults.
– Children cannot learn new things if the parents around them do not change, Penttala reminds.
There are always a lot of balls in the air in the children’s family rehearsal. According to Penttala, even in the middle of a rush, you should have the patience to put your phones away for a while and focus on being authentically present. Inka Soveri
Supernanny Suomi is basically entertainment, but in practice it could even be classified as an educational program. The responsibility is big too. The families to be taken along are carefully selected and Penttala is careful not to spread too much of anyone’s personal information.
– As a psychotherapist, I have the same professional ethics as doctors, and even though we are working on a program, I will not slip from this. Our purpose is also not just to tear things open and then disappear, but to help, Penttala underlines.
He is happy that Supernanny Finland is watched by the whole family.
– The program generates discussions and insights, even feelings of relief. Everything from the program can be used at home, Penttala states.
Forget quality time
One of the most important lessons conveyed by the program is emotional discussion. According to Pentala, it’s unfortunately rarely done in families. The reason for this, like many other problems in families, is a lack of time.
– In the midst of rush and fatigue, genuine presence disappears. And then we call for quality time. That’s a harsh word! Penttala exclaims.
Children don’t need spas and amusement parks, but daily intense togetherness.
– Let’s put the phones away, spend even a little time with the child and finish playing Domino in peace. You might notice, for example, that the child has a wound on his finger. Let’s talk about the wound, treat it, put a plaster on it.
– The child should feel that they are interested in him, that he is cared for, Penttala concretizes.
As a supernanny, Pia Penttala has become the idol of many children. Inka Soveri
Let the child play
Smartphones have slithered like a poisonous snake between family members’ communication. The constant flow of social media, e-mails and news headlines distracts parents, children stare at games and videos on their phones.
– There was a screen in my childhood too, but only one: television. We watched it together. Now each family member is dating their own screen, Penttala compares.
He also proclaims the importance of play. Children should be allowed to be children long enough and develop their own clips instead of ready-made products offered by smartphones.
– Through play, the child deals with his experiences and learns things. I think it is best if the child complains that there is nothing to do. Then I tell him to just sit and dangle his legs.
– The child can’t stay still for very long, but begins to set up play on his own accord. It’s a child’s work. It’s not up to us adults to provide entertainment. Parenthood does not mean acting as the boss of the program office, Penttala reminds.
One of his biggest concerns is that parents make their children big too early.
– Mothers are worried if a child is still playing with barbies at the age of 8. And then the same mothers go to see the Barbie movie in their best mood! You can already ask if they have left something unfinished in the past.
– Adult matters do not belong to children either. For example, if a child is allowed on social media too young and he sees his mother posing there, it’s confusing, says Penttala.
He also reminds that the phone was developed primarily for keeping in touch, not for making friends.
Pia Penttala emphasizes that play is a child’s work. Inka Soveri
Smoothly into autumn
August is a turning point in families with children, where a lot accumulates. Schools, work, kindergartens and hobbies start. We jump from holiday mode to the squirrel bike with a rush, and life is one schedule again.
According to Penttala, settling into everyday life depends a lot on how the vacation went.
– Vacations are often loaded with huge expectations. Let’s think that now we’ll just hang out at the cabin and have a barbecue, the kids will swim and the parents will read a book. Then it rains and the plans fail.
– However, the holiday itself is not a changing factor, a person has to make his own satisfaction. If after disappointments you return to everyday life with a tense surface, you can suddenly be faced with really big problems, says Penttala.
On vacation, you may have missed bedtimes and mealtimes, and even stared at screens more than usual. So how do you smoothly slip back into everyday life?
Penttala calls for foresight and family gatherings.
– Let’s make a weekly plan on the wall calendar and pack the backpacks in the evening, Supernanny advises.
And the most important instruction:
– Let’s praise the children! There have certainly been some nice moments on vacation too. Let’s remember them and strengthen the skills that the child has learned in the summer.
This fall, Penttala will also be seen in the Dancing with the Stars competition. Inka Soveri
Mama Penttala dances
The fifth production season of Supernanny Suomen has been filmed and will be seen in the spring.
This fall, however, Penttala will also visit Finns’ living rooms with skirts swinging as one of the Dancing with the Stars contestants.
– Dance is a completely foreign sport to me. I ride, golf and ski, but I can’t dance at all, Penttala reveals.
– So we’re starting from scratch, but as my dance teacher Marko Keränen stated, that’s also good. There is nothing to learn either! Penttala continues.
Of course, riding has developed the musculature, which is also needed for dancing.
– Well, I thought I was in control of my middle body, but in dance we’re in such a different position that I’m not in control. And with dancing shoes on, everything is completely different. I can’t even stand on one leg, Penttala laughs.
Dance rehearsals have started this week. Supernanny also has something to train in the fact that she is not the one who compiles the rules table, but follows the instructions of others.
– It’s not easy at all. But kidding, how liberating! I have taught others that support is worth accepting. Now we’ll see how I can do it myself.
“Just let it go!”
Confessing to be competitive, Penttala goes into the race with the intention of going to the end.
His strengths are sensitivity and humor. And in a race largely based on viewer votes, it doesn’t hurt that Penttala appeals to people of all ages.
There will be not only learning dance steps, but also throwing your whole body into the ring – quite concretely in front of the crowd and in tap dances with little fringes. However, that does not terrify Penttala.
– Here we are making an entertainment program and enjoying it, not introducing ourselves. TTK is not a pageant. If it’s lumpy or pinched somewhere, just let it go!
– I’m the Mama Penttala who comes and gets her pelvis moving all by herself, the woman laughs.
MAKEUP AND HAIR: Ilkka Ruotsalainen STYLE: Henna Koste CLOTHING INFORMATION: Patterned dress and light blue earrings YO ZEN, green dress Lindex, pearl earrings Aida Impact, bracelets Enamel Copenhagen.