Lookalikes, snake milkers, mattress testers and Netflix subtitles. In this section we interview the people with a non-standard answer to the standard question: What are you actually doing? This time Liesbeth van Berkel-Vollenbroek (58), funeral speaker.
- Who: Liesbeth van Berkel-Vollenbroek
- What: funeral speaker
- Best at work: Hearing the most diverse life stories and by recording them contribute to the grieving process.
When you die, according to funeral speaker Liesbeth van Berkel-Vollenbroek, everything that doesn’t matter also dies. “Only the purest emotions remain with the people who loved you,” says Van Berkel-Vollenbroek. In her work she has summarized the most important moments in people’s lives for years.
Ever since she can remember she has had a fascination with death and funerals. “Maybe it’s because I lost my own father when I was eighteen.”
“You become part of the most special and diverse life stories.”
Liesbeth van Berkel-Vollenbroek, funeral speaker
Van Berkel-Vollenbroek’s work begins with a death notification. She makes an appointment with the family for the next day. “Preferably at their home, so that I can taste the atmosphere in which the deceased lived.”
Giving stillborn babies a story
After the conversation, she immediately records her speech; you never know when a new notification will arrive. She likes the irregularity and variation in the work. “You never know in advance where and with whom you will meet. You become part of the most special and diverse life stories.”
These life stories can span periods of more than eighty years. But they are also about the lost life of a stillborn baby or about loved ones who have died by suicide, accident or murder. “My heart is most with the deceased babies. In the past, these children were not recognized and buried under a number. How sad that must be for the parents.”
The funeral speaker finds it all the more important to put the story of these babies on paper. “Storytelling is a hugely important part of grieving.”
The conversations she has with relatives after a suicide are also intense. “There is often so much misunderstanding and anger. Then I usually start asking questions about the beginning of someone’s life. Not infrequently, during the conversation, there is also slowly more understanding of the choice.”
Getting the whole room laughing and crying
When Van Berkel-Vollenbroek speaks after a murder, the police and family investigators are involved in addition to family and friends. “It is even more important how I word things, because research is often still ongoing.”
She mentions that one of the most special funerals is that of a young man who had shot his girlfriend and then committed suicide. “Terrible what he did. But his parents lost their son and had to deal with the fact that their son was also a murderer. Go ahead!”
The funeral speaker usually succeeds in letting her own emotions out. “But if the mother of a deceased person puts an arm around me with the words ‘We are so happy with you’, I will be broken too.”
She has already spoken at more than a thousand funerals. “My way of working is my calling card,” she says. “Personal, empathetic and compassionate. My job is to make the whole room cry and laugh. Those emotions are part of life and therefore also with death.”