Sorry is fine, but what matters is how you say it, say Surinamese Dutch people

‘Do you know what it is…” Fabian van de Leuv (51) pays for two boxes of blueberries, puts them in his mother’s trolley bag and turns around. “It’s not about saying ‘sorry’. What matters is how you say it.” Van de Leuv spends a lot of time with white Dutch people and he notices: ‘sorry’ always comes out very easily. “They are used to shouting. But in a cold way. For an apology to have meaning, it must be sincere. Then it” – he points to his chest – “must come from here”.

Van de Leuv is shopping at the Haagse Markt with his mother. A “mommy-son moment”, every Monday afternoon. Not that it gets along, his mother runs into friends everywhere. This market – the largest in the Netherlands – is fraternizing. That is what Van de Leuv, chef by profession, also notices when he is here with his students and introduces them to the kitchens of all those stalls. Lebanese, Turkish, Dutch, Surinamese.

Food fraternizes. And he hopes that the apologies that the Dutch government wants to make to Suriname and the Caribbean islands for the slavery past will have a binding effect in the same way. But it has to be done correctly. And many Dutch people of Surinamese origin here on the market have their reservations.

July 1, 2023

Take the planned date: December 19, chosen at random by the cabinet. No, no, they say here. That’s not the day. It must be July 1, 2023. Then it’s Keti Koti, the annual celebration of the abolition of slavery, exactly 150 years ago next year. On that day, Sandra Strok (53) – today at the market to “take a quick tour” of acquaintances – invariably puts on traditional clothing to reflect on the past. “Nice at home with Surinamese music on, children on the floor and telling stories about the past.”

Although Strok, who works in elderly care, still finds it unbelievable that she has to ask for time off every year instead of July 1 being a public holiday. “I miss recognition for the past in the Netherlands. That is precisely why apologizing on that day is so important.”

Also read this column: Every Dutchman should celebrate Keti Koti

Eight ministers make excuses in different places, is the idea. Among them is Minister Franc Weerwind (Legal Protection, D66). Bad idea, they say here. “He shouldn’t do that, he is Surinamese himself,” says Juna Rose (76), who stands with an aunt in front of a stall with woolen hats.

And apologies from Prime Minister Mark Rutte are not enough either. “The king must do it, his ancestors contributed to it themselves. He must come to a stadium in Suriname, and it must not be ‘via via’ but ” – Rose speaks incessantly in a fierce tone while the people around listen in silence – “everyone who can walk should come and see with their own eyes how he apologizes offers. Because people need to know. Why did the Jews get an apology, and Indonesia, and we didn’t? The Netherlands always acts as if everything is cake and egg. Here in education you hear nothing about the slavery past. People don’t even know what a plantation is, because our ancestors have been hurt, that people have been tortured and raped and thrown overboard with chains on their feet. Many do not even know where Suriname is.”

Highest achievable

“You never close something like that,” says Rose. Without looking up: “We will not forget. But an excuse helps. Then you’ll be happy with it. That is the highest possible.”

I miss recognition for the past in the Netherlands

For the younger generation, excuses are less important, Fabian van de Leuv sees. “They’re not that into it.” But for the older Surinamese Dutch all the more. He noticed this when he once toured the plantations in Suriname. Some companions began to cry and mumble. “You think: what is this? For them it was a spiritual experience. Just as making an excuse in Suriname is also something spiritual: cutting a gourd and dripping something with water, for example after a big argument with your parents.” An excuse in Suriname, he says, has to be tasted, experienced, if it really wants to touch. “I wonder if the Netherlands will really understand that.”