Son of Irene from Stadskanaal died in an accident by a driver with drugs on. ‘When the police came, I wanted to run away’

“I think drugs in traffic are criminal,” says his mother almost two years later. Irene Prins (61) was already afraid it would come one day: a message from the police that her eldest son Jeroen had died. ,,My son was taken down the wrong path by the wrong friends. Jeroen was quite a follower. He was on drugs for long periods and often had no place to stay. I could write a book about everything I went through with him.”

Social child who loved socializing

Jeroen could also be aggressive towards his mother. “It was just a monster at times. That was not Jeroen. He was so on drugs. As a child, Jeroen was very social. He couldn’t entertain himself alone. Very different from his more than two years younger brother. He could play alone for hours. Jeroen always wanted to do things together. He had the world of friends in Buinen, where he grew up. He always wanted to do fun things, play games or help make snacks on a birthday.”

Things went quite well at school, Jeroen learned easily, his mother remembers. Yet things went wrong when he went to the cooking school in Emmen. “He was bullied out of there. Jeroen did not have his figure with him, he was overweight. He was constantly bullied at school. He has stopped training.” Afterwards, Irene knows that her son was already involved with drugs. It started with joints. “It went from bad to worse. What exactly he used. I don’t even know.”

Mother and son often quarreled. She wanted him to make something of his life, to look for work. He would become furious and sometimes stay away for weeks. “And then he sat in front of the door again as if nothing had happened. I thought he should have help. But I couldn’t do anything. He had been 18 years old. I felt very powerless. I knocked on the door of the police and I went to the mayor’s office hours.”

Very concerned

No one could help Irene. “The mayor said that the drug problem in Stadskanaal was very big. I wanted to do something with other parents. The mayor explained that I would not get other parents with me. A lot of people are ashamed of what their children are doing and want to keep the problems behind the front door.”

Irene says that she felt angry, scared and sad and that she was especially worried about her son. “I kept thinking, ‘Where is my child? Does he have shelter?’ Especially in winter. Every time you hope that it will get better, that it will be okay again. I kept hoping, until the accident. Then all hope was gone forever.”

For a long time Irene had a strong premonition that the police would come to the door with terrible news about Jeroen. ,,I had told my partner Geeuwke that I sometimes had visions. Then a police car drove up very slowly and then the doorbell rang.” On Thursday evening, July 8, 2021, her partner saw a police car driving. It wasn’t a vision this time, but the harsh reality. Irene remembers this exactly: ‘They turn,’ my friend said. “They’re coming here.”

Police at the door

Two cops called at around 7:30 in the evening. Irene’s partner answered the door. “I sat on the chair and thought, ‘I’m going to run. I don’t want to hear this’. Then they came in and asked: ‘are you Jeroen’s mother?’ I don’t even remember what those cops looked like or what they actually said. I remember when they sat on the couch. They looked at me. I said, ‘I don’t feel anything. I don’t know what to feel’.”

The officers had only just arrived when Irene’s youngest son drove up and entered the house. “He said, ‘Oh mom, you already know.’ I said, ‘how do you know then?’ Her son said he was shocked to read it on Facebook. Colleagues or acquaintances had posted on Facebook: ‘Have you heard? Bokkie is dead.’ “His friends always called Jeroen Bokkie.”

Irene and her family were assigned a family agent. They were told that Jeroen probably hadn’t noticed the accident. He and his colleague drove back together from a job for work in Steenwijk. “He was sleeping in the passenger seat in the car. It all went very fast. The car went off the road and hit some trees. The whole right side was broken.”

In the coffin in the auditorium, where Jeroen lay in state, his mother saw her deceased son for the first time after the accident. “What happens to you is inexplicable. Your brain just can’t handle your child lying there. He also looked very battered. It was very sad to see what a big blow he had.”

Many painful details surfaced again last month when the court in Assen finally had the criminal case against Jeroen’s colleague who caused the accident on the A37 near New Amsterdam. A day before the court case, her lawyer Maaike de Vries from VYVRE Letselschade called. “She said: ‘Irene I want to prepare you that the driver was heavily under the influence of drugs’. Then I cried. I was already afraid of that.”

To forgive

Jeroen is always in the thoughts of his mother. But she does not want her life to be determined by his death. “I enjoy little things. I have a dear friend and treasures of grandchildren. I also think that I should begin to forgive the man who caused the accident. I feel that is better, because otherwise you will always be stuck in the role of victim. Moreover, he did not want this either. He also wants to turn back the clock. He’ll have to drop the drugs. Otherwise I really think he’s a big bastard.”

The 41-year-old driver from 2e Exloërmond said during the court case that he fell asleep behind the wheel. Because the man was heavily under the influence of drugs, he was sentenced to 240 hours of community service, six months in prison and a three-year driving ban. He must also be treated by addiction care.

Mother Irene says about the court’s sentence: ,,I hope he learns something from it and that he never gets behind the wheel with drugs again. He will have to pay for his deed. Driving with drugs can cause so much misery. It can cost someone else’s life, as happened to Jeroen. It causes lifelong suffering for the bereaved.”