celebritiesNoah Cyrus (22), Miley’s younger sister who is also making her way as a singer, has been seriously addicted to the tranquilizer Alprazolam for about two years. On her 20th birthday, it felt like she wouldn’t make it to 21 and death was “on the doorstep,” she sings on her new album.
“If I went one step further, there would be nothing left of me except these songs,” she opens the record. Xanax, as the drug is also known, is a sedative that doctors can prescribe for anxiety disorders. Noah, who was nominated for a Grammy in 2020, got her first pill at 18 from her then-boyfriend. “I wanted to be what he wanted, what he thought was cool and what I thought everyone was doing,” she said this week in †Rolling Stone’.
Mental disorder
Cyrus hadn’t been comfortable in her own skin for some time. She wanted to be a ‘normal kid’ in her youth, but with the famous singer Billy Ray Cyrus as a father and Miley as a sister, things turned out differently. Everyone on the street asked if she was Miley’s sister, which made her feel like she wasn’t someone herself. She became depressed and suffered from body dysmorphia, a psychological disorder in which you are obsessed with your appearance and do not think you are beautiful enough.
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What started out quite harmless in terms of Xanax quickly spiraled out of control. “I was surrounded by people who had easy access to the drug,” she says. Noah invariably slept until 8pm and had no idea what day it was. Her memory was barely functioning. “It became a black, bottomless pit.”
Dropping out during interview
A painful low point came in 2020. She recorded an interview for television and sometimes suddenly disappeared in the middle of the conversation. “I completely collapsed and fell asleep, I couldn’t hold my head up, my eyes open, I was that far away,” said Noah. The interview was ultimately never broadcast.
The same year her grandmother Loretta passed away. “I felt so guilty for not being there when she died,” she says. “I was there physically, but not emotionally. I couldn’t.” She also closed herself off from her grieving mother and that caused a wake-up call. “I was alone, I was scared, and I realized that I had pushed away all the people I loved and needed.”
Quote
I couldn’t hold my head up, couldn’t open my eyes, that’s how far away I was
comfort oneself
At the end of 2020, she sought help and kicked the habit, after which she found support in making new music. In it she sings extremely honestly about her situation, which is reason for her to talk about it for the first time in an interview. “When I turned 20, I got the feeling that maybe I wouldn’t turn 21,” she opens her new record.
Now Noah is doing better. She has therapy, is being treated by a psychiatrist and is often at home with her dogs. “I wake up in the morning and can look in the mirror and get through the day without hating myself,” she says. “I can now comfort myself and take care of myself.”
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