John de Mol’s new survival show Million Dollar Island is going to be something really special, sensational and fantastic. At least, that’s what his spokespersons say at the Shownieuws desk.
It is to be hoped that the experts at Shownieuws have negotiated their contract well, because each of them fulfills a double function. Not only are they supposed to comment on every celebrity fart, they also have to constantly praise all kinds of new programs from their boss John de Mol.
‘Sensational!’
Whatever John storms the editors with: it’s all fantastic. Last autumn, Shownieuws was shamelessly under the spell of that horrible dance marathon that no one was watching, even night after night. They thought that was fantastic too. “Yes, I do have the idea that that is alive. Yes, absolutely, yes”, studio guest Wendy van Dijk lied at the desk.
Now the discredited media billionaire has once again come up with a ‘fantastic’ program: Million Dollar Island, an Expedition Robinson-like show in which a hundred people with a black band around their wrists run around on a Philippine island. Show news expert Albert Verlinde called out seven times yesterday that it will be ‘sensational’.
gloat
The group of Shownieuws experts was just gloating at the desk. “There will be a new program and that is quite something special”, beamed presenter Tooske Ragas.
Albert: “It really is something very special. It’s a program that I think has been talked about for about three or four years. It’s called Million Dollar Island. Actually it is a kind of Expedition Robinson meets Utopia. We are going to show the promo in a minute and it looks sensational.”
‘Waaaaw!’
Million Dollar Island is, according to Albert, ‘just as good and popular’ as Expedition Robinson, ‘but of this time’. Then he announces the promo again: “We can show the first extensive images tonight – it looks fantastic.”
After the promo, Tooske seems completely knocked back. “Wooooow.”
Albert sits proudly with his arms folded: “It looks really sensational.”
John’s spokesperson
Then Albert literally confesses to be John’s spokesperson. “The special thing I have heard a bit is – I spoke to John de Mol for a while on Friday – that everything that was estimated in advance actually happened. You also see that people help each other and try to play pranks. It looks sensational.”
The premiere is on March 6. “There is even – it still has to be broadcast and everything will work out – an option has been taken on a second island in the Philippines. America and Russia have already indicated that they are interested and if it turns out as beautiful as this trailer promises, it will be very busy there in the Philippines.”
“I’d rather watch this!”
Photographer William Rutten is also completely enthusiastic. “I was always a big fan of Expedition Robinson, but in recent years I actually dropped out because I thought it was no longer about Robinson, but only tactical games. I think I’d rather watch this then.”
The word ‘sensational’ has never been seen so often on TV. And that one week after the Shownieuws stars were so freaked out because of the massive criticism that they are such huge Talpa puppets. Unbelievable indeed.