Dilemma
Everyone gossips, experts say, and that’s why we inevitably do it in the workplace. Gossip can bring a group of people closer together, but it can also divide people. Should we stop gossiping at work?
No
Gossip is good for people, says retired doctor Rinus Feddes, who obtained his PhD on the subject at the University of Humanistic Studies. For example, we need gossip to discharge ourselves emotionally or to enter into relationships. “That applies just as well at work.”
If at least three people are in contact with each other, there will always be gossip, says Feddes. Two of the three inevitably end up talking about the third, who is not there at that moment.
Gossip unfairly has a bad name, says Feddes. Not all gossip is negative. Some are neutral or even positive. In fact, negative gossip is in the minority. According to Feddes, a positive gossip could be, for example: “Piet is very good with computers. If you want to learn something about computers, it’s better to contact him than Jan. Something like that is very innocent, but it is gossip.”
We also gossip to adapt to social norms in a group, says Feddes. We often gossip about a subject that is taboo to discuss in the larger group. “For example, in some teams, complaining about the division of work or the schedule is not socially accepted in the presence of the manager, but it is between colleagues. Or, if talking about politics in a larger group of colleagues is sensitive, it can be nice to talk about it in a smaller group. This way you can prevent people from feeling hurt.”
Moreover, a team can function better by gossiping occasionally, says coach Charlotte van den Wall Bake, who guides companies and organizations in issues related to social safety. “By discussing what his or her qualities are in the absence of a person, you as a team know better how everyone can best perform.”
It is an illusion that we can ever stop gossiping completely, thinks Van den Wall Bake. Managers regularly approach her to ask how their team can unlearn gossiping. “That is a vain hope.”
Feddes: “The most important thing is that we learn to accept each other’s negatives. We don’t have to stop gossiping for that.”
Yes
Gossip can certainly take harmful forms, says coach Van den Wall Bake. Gossip to smear someone or to give yourself an ego boost – these are gossips that do not belong at work. “These can be harmful to social safety.”
According to Van den Wall Bake, this kind of gossip is a form of bullying, and bullying is considered inappropriate behavior in the workplace. Gossip can reduce employee job satisfaction. This can cause people to function less well and even drop out in the long run, says Van den Wall Bake.
Managers must therefore be alert to gossip in the team, she believes. “If people often talk negatively about the same person, it may be wise to intervene.” The manager must then try to find out what the motives are for the gossip. For example, do people feel threatened about their own position? By finding out why employees gossip so negatively, you can do something about the cause in the hope that the gossip will stop. In the worst case, according to Van den Wall Bake, an official warning or sanction is appropriate.
Negative gossip occurs more often during major changes in the workplace, says Feddes. People feel vulnerable, for example when they get a new manager. “It is important to be alert, especially under these circumstances, and not to get too carried away.”
Remember that it is extremely difficult to change behavior, says Van den Wall Bake. “You must then discuss with each other what norms and values you want to apply in the workplace. You must then make clear agreements. The manager has the important task of ensuring that everyone feels responsible for this and acts accordingly.”
Van den Wall Bake supervises a team that gossips a lot at work. The manager has intervened and now every meeting starts with a statement that the team must discuss together, she says. “That could be: Piet has lunch alone every day, which is unpleasant. Agree or disagree?” The statement is first general and about a fictional person, but later can also be about real people from the team. “In this way, they learn to talk to each other in all honesty about possible frustrations without having to gossip.”
So
Nothing wrong with a little gossip. It can help you to discharge yourself emotionally, or to establish new social relationships with colleagues. Teams can function better by gossiping occasionally. But gossiping to make yourself feel better, or to smear someone else? That does more harm than good.