Mother: “My three-year-old daughter is a cheerful and full of life girl. She likes to watch videos of girls a little older than her on YouTube Kids. These girls have everything their heart desires and just like some influencers on Instagram, they live in lazy land and their lives seem perfect. My fear is that my daughter will get the idea that this is the norm. She is already very concerned with her appearance and only wants to wear dresses, preferably pink or purple and with unicorns on them. She finds make-up and jewelry extremely interesting. She also makes comments about ‘being beautiful’, and that she doesn’t consider herself beautiful. How do I manage this? Is it better to delete YouTube from the tablet until she is a bit older?”
Offer variety
Dian de Vries: “At this age, children are busy with gender development: what is a boy, what is a girl, and what goes with that? Because she is not yet capable of nuance, your daughter will magnify the stereotypical characteristics she sees in older girls: the color pink, glitter. This fascination does not arise from the media, it is an interaction: she clicks on those videos because she is involved in it herself, and the interest can become stronger if she sees more videos with princesses and dresses.
“Although this phase will pass, it is good to offer your daughter a more varied offering, in which girls have a role other than ‘being beautiful’. You now have control over her viewing behavior and can prepare a playlist. You can also read books aloud as Where’s my noodle soup?
“It is also advisable to pay attention to what you show in gender roles or in statements about your own or other people’s appearance.
“Terms such as ‘not beautiful’ can also be copying behavior. We want to make our children resilient to negative messages, wherever they come from. That is not easy, there are so many outside influences that we as parents have no control over. What you can do for yourself is show that you love her unconditionally, no matter what she does or how she looks.”
Keep balance
Peter Nikken: “Although the fascination with those stereotypical gender categories comes with age, I would look for more variety in the media offering. You can log in to YouTube Kids and choose your own videos for each child, and also block videos.
“We continue to be careful with that content, also on YouTube Kids. There are very young influencers who are filmed by parents with all kinds of products. For example, the ‘unboxing videos’, in which young children unpack gifts. That is a form of advertising with a huge industry behind it.
“This is precisely the age at which you can still offer her educational material that will really benefit her. About shapes, colors, about ‘fair sharing’. Videos with the message: we all belong, regardless of what we look like. Children still enjoy such content up to the age of 6.
“Health specialists also recommend limiting screen time to one hour a day until the age of 5, and leaving plenty of time for play, socializing with other children and outdoor exercise. And pay attention to how often you as parents have a screen in your hands. Children copy that.”
Dian de Vries conducts research into digital skills at Utrecht University of Applied Sciences Peter Nikken is a lecturer in Youth & Media at Windesheim University of Applied Sciences in Zwolle, and conducts research into the media use of children and young people in the digitalized society and into the role of their parents and professionals.