Today’s world exposes us to countless conflicts and breakdowns in all areas of life that require tools to lead ourselves and minimize the adverse effects they cause in our inner world and in work, friendly, couple, institutional and organizational relationships.
In that sense I have worked and reflected on the implication that “the resolve” and “overcoming” in the being of those who go through them, in such complex times, which require complex responses and solutions.
Imagining common aspects between both approach strategies, I observe three that allow me to deepen the analysis. One is related to the intention of the parties. Beyond being confronted by the differences that separate us, something common and shared exists: the interest in accessing some solution or result.
It is also appreciated that, being peaceful modes, it questions us about our emotional state, that state in which we choose to be in order to negotiate and mediate, which requires us to have emotions of serenity, peace, respect, vulnerability, managing anger, anger, fear, shame and sadness.
And the third axis of observation is the conversation as the most powerful tool of transformation and evolution, both with others and with ourselves. That space of meeting, of connection, of communion of ideas, of expansion of the mental and emotional map, with commitment of all our corporality, in which they dance and intertwine speaking and listeningto achieve the assertive communication we need to address conflicting interests.
Now, the most obvious difference, in my opinion, is how we observe the conflict and impact has in our life. I can observe it as something outside of me, that comes from outside for which I believe I have no responsibility, “something that happens to me”, “something that happens” and brings me problems and from that place I solve it. Or I can look at it from my space of responsibility, of taking charge, which depends on me, on my being, even happening on the outside and thus overcome it.
He solve “It reflects the tools I have, the skills,”to do something for and arrive at the solution through that doing, putting my gaze on the conflict.
He get over involves the challenge of transform the being and make the qualitative leap, which generates learning, questions, commits, challenges, controls from the only possible scenario of taking charge and reacting, from my emotions, my thoughts, my decisions and my actions and through them generate evolution and personal growth that spills on itself and on the environment.
Resolving materializes in verbal agreements, documents, minutes, transactions, apologies, sanctions, which perhaps put an end and light by modifying the dispute.
Overcoming involves all that and more. It is an internal process of transforming the context, which requires recognizing what happened and how it impacted me personally, what I could have done that I didn’t do, what I recognize and value myself in, how I am accepting what happened, what I take care of that I don’t. I made myself, what I need to change, what I want to keep, what ontological learning does that conflict offer me to transform my today and apply it in my future. Questions and more of them to open possibilities!!
On this path, professional ontological Coaching brings people, in their personal lives and in communities, the possibility of opening spaces of self-knowledge to transform and build the paths and dimensions they choose for their expansion, their change of observer, choosing, distinguishing in freedom, through conversational processes that value learning through language, emotions, corporality and values as access to building what is desired and designed for their future.
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by CEDOC
