Repeating rifle – NRC

Of course it was pathetic last Thursday evening that the elderly figure skater at On 1 told exactly the same story twice within two minutes, but if you are over eighty then that is allowed. In addition, the viewers of that program are also of age, so most probably didn’t even notice. Such a mildly confused old person is a beautiful reflection of our society. Hundreds of thousands of Dutch people over the age of seventy are living repeating rifles, so it’s nice to have one openly on television once in a while. I think that the family of the lady in question now intervenes and ensures that mother stays at home from now on. Too bad, because I love these kinds of television moments.

Did I look? No, I was tipped off and mostly had to laugh. Worse things do happen on Dutch television. For example, nodding celebrities. Or that hours of attention are paid to a little rapper who helped his wife out of the car by her hair. Or about a singer who beats the staff of a Jordanian neighborhood supermarket into the hospital. This all happened around the corner from me. I’ll be walking around my neighborhood with a helmet for the time being. Even a full-face helmet.

Why were these two top artists so aggressive? No idea. I think they’ve been sitting in there unemployed for too long. Then you’re going to act weird. And she’s not alone. All Dutch Remain-of-my-body homes are currently overcrowded. More pounding than fucking.

Speaking of the latter. Did you also enjoy that pathetic Prince Andrew who has to pay twelve million pounds for three seesaws with a teenage girl? Seesaws from twenty years ago. And that his crystal-clear 95-year-old mother has to help pay for this because the loser did not have the amount in house herself. How will that mother-son conversation have gone? That stiff queen and that lobed bum who’s lived all his life on the pocket of the British people. If this The Crown doesn’t make it…

The saddest thing is that the prince can no longer remember the encounters with the child. He thought he was eating pizza with his daughter that night. Does this say anything about the prince’s royal bedside performance? They should get that confused Andrew once too On 1 to invite. At that razor-sharp table. Preferably if the EO takes care of the evening. They still believe fanatically in the monarchy.

Speaking of television, children and figure skating, I saw 15-year-old Kamila Valieva trip over the ice. She’s that Russian girl who accidentally doped because she sniffed from her grandfather’s heart pill jar. Here at home we call that kind of pharmaceutical mistake an ‘Onanatje’. After her failed Olympic freestyle, she was ruthlessly yelled at by her coach for finishing fourth. A wonderful achievement when you are fifteen. The IOC president Thomas Bach expressed disgrace at the behavior of the abusive coach, who ranted at the sobbing girl. Thomas absolutely cannot stand injustice. That is why he agitated so openly against the violation of human rights in China. Especially against the oppression of those poor Uyghurs. So this response from the IOC chief made perfect sense.

Shall we get married to question that figure skating anyway? Children from the age of four are tortured for six hours a day in freezing ice rinks by crazy adults, who have to straighten out their own failed sports career if necessary. Children whose whole childhood is helped to the gallemies in this way. Children who have been abused to make their frustrated parents happy. Just like with fun gymnastics. Isn’t it time you weren’t allowed to race until you were seventeen? According to experts, you are really too old then. At nineteen you are even a figure skater with dementia. Then you can come and wow a woolly evening at On 1† Or on one of the other seven talk shows that change every other day of always the same guests. They just slide them together. Bet they were all talking about the storm on Friday night?