René Snippert wants to find his ‘inner primal man’. With that in mind, the Omroep Brabant reporter (31) for the podcast ‘Op de man af’ is participating in a retreat especially for men: ‘Back to nature’ in the woods of Hilvarenbeek. Something that is spicier than he previously thought. Especially when he ends the day in a sweat lodge: “All I hear is screaming. Howl. Some even start to growl.”
There he is, in the pouring rain somewhere on the edge of the woods near Hilvarenbeek. René is going to spend a day immersed in the world of Ad Hamers (58), who drives along the muddy forest path in a van. With his long white hair, friendliness and his wonderful Brabant dialect, you cannot ignore Ad. He does look a bit nervous. ‘Zunne reporter’ who participates in his retreat, which is quite exciting, he later admits.
Accepted by the pack
A group of ten men are waiting for René in a clearing between the trees. The oldest participant is around fifty, but most are in their late twenties or early thirties. It takes some getting used to for all men and the encounter is a bit like a pack of dogs sniffing each other. When reporter René tells him that he is just one of the participants during the retreat, he is quickly accepted by the others.
One of the men says that he has been manic depressive for years, something that is common in his family. He hopes to gain new insights during this retreat. Someone next to him would like to close ‘something from his past’. He doesn’t say what exactly. Another man participates because he wants to better understand his wife’s spirituality.
The men spend three consecutive days together in the woods. Every day consists of a number of varying activities, but there is also a lot of free time. Time to do nothing. To entertain you for hours without a phone, in silence or with each other.
Stone ceremony
René is there for one of the three days and this day is all about the sweat lodge ceremony that we are working towards step by step. Starting with a stone ceremony. The men form a circle around a campfire, for which they have chopped wood themselves. In front of the participants lie boulders as big as bricks.
One by one they can pick up such a boulder and place them in the fire. Every man gives ‘his stone’ its own purpose. For example, one of the men wishes there was more love in the world. Another hopes that everyone will find the answer they are looking for during the retreat. Nice words. Ad tells us that every wish, once the stones have been heated long enough, will be released during the sweat lodge ceremony.
Reporter René can’t help but feel a little uncomfortable about it. “That’s not the fault of the group, because the atmosphere was good. I pushed aside the discomfort and reminded myself to let everything happen. And before I knew it, I was wishing a stone all the best.”
Going back into the womb
That sweat lodge. It would be comparable to a sauna, but a lot more intense. When you think of a sweat lodge, you think of a wooden igloo covered with woolen blankets. The idea? “Go back into the womb,” says Ad, “so that you walk out reborn.” At moments like this, René notices that he has to get used to the spiritual ideas of the retreat.
There he is: naked, on the damp ground with his arms wrapped around my knees. Inside it is pitch dark and very warm. “Shit, it was so hot. Fortunately, the ground still felt wet from the afternoon rain. For the first time, I was glad it had rained.” Then a quiet, deep singing sounds from Ad. “It felt like I was slowly entering a state of inner peace,” says René.
Screams, howls and growls
“I felt like we had been in the hut for at least half an hour. I normally last a maximum of fifteen minutes in a sauna. Sweat was pouring down my forehead and my heartbeat was in my throat. I heard men break emotionally. I only heard screams. Cries. Some even started to growl. As if all the pain came out at once.”
After what feels like 40 minutes, René decides to leave the tent. “There I was, sweaty and naked, walking through the forest. I was covered in mud smears. Mud with which I tried to keep myself cool. Finally fresh, fresh air to cool off. I stepped with my feet through the mud. For all of For a moment I felt like a primal man. A primal man in the middle of nature.”
This story is part of a story series for the Omroep Brabant podcast Op De Man Af. In this podcast, journalists Eva de Schipper and Evie Hendriks work their way through the man’s mind. They do this by having honest conversations with all kinds of different men, by questioning the men in their own lives and by looking critically at themselves. Reporter René Snippert helps the ladies by exploring the market for men and self-development.