To the outside world it seemed like he had everything together. He had a family, a nice car and a well-paid job. Still, things did not go well with Remco Voskamp (46). A drug and alcohol addiction devastated him and those around him, almost leading to a suicide attempt. In a candid conversation, he talks about his experiences and how he now uses them to help others, including for inZet Zoetermeer.
The heaviest years of his addiction are now more than six years behind him. At the end of 2015 he became clean and since 2018 he has been an experience expert at Fonteynenburg, one of the nine organizations that falls under iZet Zoetermeer. He now works at the location [email protected], where clients of inZet can also go. “Here we work on the recovery of people with behavioral or addiction problems,” says Remco.
Numbing pain and fears
According to him, many addictions have a deeper cause. “When I look at myself, that was an extreme urge to prove. I worked in the hospitality industry and worked eighteen or nineteen hours. I didn’t want to show that I couldn’t keep it up. Large amounts of alcohol numbed my pain and fears. I needed more and more alcohol for that. At a certain point, that wasn’t enough either and I started using cocaine.”
rough road
He first sought help in 2014. “Deep down I knew I was wrong. You live in a delusion. You think you’ve got your life on track, but I had absolutely nothing, because I destroyed myself and my family. My wife said to me, if you don’t get help, I’ll leave you. Then I was in rehab for a few weeks. There I became sober, but I did not come into contact with a psychologist or psychiatrist. As a result, I could not share or process emotions from the past that came up. That was very intense. I even started using more after that.”
Deep well
In the summer of 2015, he decided to leave his wife and two daughters himself, in an attempt to protect them. He sank deeper and deeper into the pit. “I tried to drink less, but I was used to drinking twenty pints of beer a day. If I drank eighteen, I would pat myself on the back.”
I was just about to let go when two police officers grabbed me
Remco Voskamp
He started having suicidal thoughts. One evening in October 2015, he got into the car and drove to Rotterdam. “Swinging, because I was completely drunk and had used cocaine. I walked to the center, climbed over the railing and was about to let go when two police officers grabbed me and pulled away from the railing. A police van had noticed my driving and followed me. The bizarre thing is that that also felt like failure. You can’t even do thiswent through me.”
No more masks
He ended up in crisis shelter. “There I realized that I wanted to live. Then I went to a rehab clinic in Scotland for 3.5 months. There I not only became clean, but I also tackled the deeper causes. I had to face the pain and fear inside me. It was as if I had lived with masks on. I now took them off one by one. I had to rediscover who I was and what I wanted in life.”
Sharing is healing
Back in the Netherlands he noticed that sharing his story was good for my own healing process and that of others. During a retraining period of 3.5 years, he followed courses to become an experience expert. He then went to work at Fonteynenburg.
At CJOE we will work on your recovery together
Remco Voskamp
Remco now works at the location [email protected] in Seghwaert. “Here, as a team, we are ready for the people who live here at Fonteynenburg, but also for everyone who is guided at home by InZet or who walks in.”
Remco also has contact with residents who are on the waiting list for guidance at home by inZet. He brings them into contact with each other and offers them, for example, participation in a recovery work group. In this way they can count on a listening ear and support from someone who knows from their own experience what their problem is, until a supervisor is available.
portraying fears
What that recovery looks like depends entirely on the request for help. “Suppose someone comes in here with certain fears. Then we ask him or her to draw or paint it and give those fears a face. Then we discuss what someone has drawn and why. Then you can give tools to make life a little easier.”
Conversations and games
There are also weekly group discussions. “Then we discuss one specific topic, such as someone’s fears. There is also peer to peer support: conversations between fellow sufferers who are dealing with the same problems. There is also room for games, but then we don’t do People-Worse-You-Not but educational games. A way that helps to talk to each other about your vulnerabilities. So everything we do is focused on recovery.”
A thousand times more beautiful
“It feels good to use my experiences to help others. I myself experienced how difficult it is to find your way in healthcare, even if you want to be helped. I cannot change that system, but I can make a small contribution. I find life a thousand times more beautiful now. I also wish that on others.”
His appeal to everyone who has to do with fears or addictions is: come [email protected] to look up. “We don’t judge you, here you can be yourself.”
The location where CJOE is now located (‘t Seghe Waert aan de Vaartdreef) will be renovated from July this year. That is why it is moving to a temporary location at the Roggeakker. As soon as the renovation of ‘t Seghe Waert is completed, which is expected in 2025, CJOE will return to the Vaartdreef. On Wednesday 15 June between 4 and 6 pm, CJOE is organizing an information meeting for the neighborhood. You are most welcome to come and take a look. The address is: Roggeakker 194.
This story was made possible by inZet, a partnership of nine organizations for care and welfare in Zoetermeer. For more information, see the Bet’s website†