Rachel Hazes (52) tells in an interview with New Revue candid about the suicide attempt she made five years ago. ,,I tell you honestly: I am very grateful for life now. That was quite a serious thing at the time, it was not asking for attention.”
Hazes is currently writing a book about her life, and that dark period is also discussed. She wants, she tells the magazine, happy to explain that ‘attempting suicide is not always the best decision’. “Because life is really beautiful.”
You can talk about suicidal thoughts anonymously: chat via 113.nl, call 113 or call toll-free 0800-0113.
She thought otherwise in 2017, when the widow of folk singer André Hazes attempted to end her life. She describes it as ‘short circuit in your head’. “The bucket was full. There was a lot of sadness in it. A lot of powerlessness. Have to fight a lot. Incomprehension. And of course I had a difficult relationship with my son André. I was really upset about that.”
She had prepared it weeks in advance. Wrote a suicide note, bought a knife. Long red and white scars can be seen on her wrist, as the interviewer describes. ,,It was quite a yawn. That wasn’t attention seeking and I was really disappointed that it didn’t work out. I was really done with life down here,” Rachel says. “I really wanted to go upstairs. To the people upstairs, whom I love very much.” She refers to André Hazes and her mother.
No one knew how bad it was
The attempt failed. “I think Dré thought: stay away, I don’t want you upstairs yet!” Although the wound was deep, it was only after a week or two or three that she went to the hospital, where she was admitted to the psychiatric ward for some time. Shortly after the attempt, she covered the wound: no one knew how bad she was. She is now fully enjoying life again. ,,What I had in 2017, I call being a bit ill. After my illness I really started to appreciate the little things: a bird that whistles, the sun that shines.”
The New Revue is in stores from today, with a photo of Rachel Hazes with her new boyfriend Klaas Otto on the cover. However, the two have since split up.
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