How to deal with social media? Psychologist Thijs Launspach has written a ‘manual’ for those who are concerned about their partner, children or students. He also thinks that we should not let tech giants do their thing. “The government has to come up with legislation to protect us. It does too little.”
‘This is a book about manipulation’, writes Thijs Launspach in the introduction to his new book antisocial media which is now available in bookstores. TikTok, Insta, YouTube, Snapchat, Facebook: you could see social media as an enrichment of our lives. With the rise of these platforms, we seem to be more connected than ever. Yet they also have a downside, say a dark side.
Launspach states in his book that the use of the platforms can cause mental problems. Social media manipulate us on a larger scale and contribute to loneliness in society. In particular, the rise of the smartphone makes it possible that the most addictive technology ever developed is never more than a few feet away from us.
The psychologist thinks social media is a danger to mental health. He’s concerned that a handful of tech giants don’t care as much about us as they make out. After a number of scandals at Facebook and Twitter, among others, the world is slowly starting to realize that there are many snags to the free platforms to which a large part of the world’s population is connected.
We ask too few questions
“We let ourselves doze off and did not know for too long what those companies were actually doing, which was collecting our data and making money from it, and then manipulating us with that information. It has become so ingrained in our daily lives over the last twenty years that we no longer see it as ‘new’. We only recognize technology when it is new. A book or clothes, for example, are still technology. But we only recognize new technology as such.
“Social media has become the most normal thing and we ask too few questions, do not understand or we think it is fine. We have a nitrogen crisis, a social divide, a war, et cetera, there are ‘more important’ problems so we postpone it. Too little is said about it, even though these crises are being stirred up by the social media. They fuel polarization. You saw that with corona and now with the farmers’ protests. That makes me angry.”
Launspach thinks we underestimate the problem, even make fun of it. “It is therefore incomprehensible that we let our children use TikTok every day, while it has been scientifically proven that the platform can cause psychological damage to the development of young brains. As a psychologist, my work is actually always about how to survive mentally in our current world and social media with their manipulation makes being mentally healthy right now damn difficult. Seen in this way, they are not ‘social’ media at all: they are incredibly anti-social.”
It makes me jealous, suspicious and insecure
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a technology hater,” Launspach says in the introduction to his book. He would prefer to have used all the new apps once and it is difficult for him to imagine his life without a smartphone. He too spends hours a day on the internet. And yes, he also uses social media, albeit very selectively and as much as possible outside the personal sphere. That is a conscious choice. Launspach says: “When I give the algorithms unlimited access to my personal life, I’m scrolling for hours and hours a day in no time, and that makes me jealous, suspicious and insecure.”
By writing about his own struggle with using social media, Launspach tries to indicate that it is a human problem: everyone likes attention and wants to be seen. Man is a social being. That’s not new. It’s also okay to eat a chocolate now and then, but a whole box will make you fat. Launspach tries to be aware of his actions. Therein may lie the solution: “Partly it is awareness of your actions and of the operation of the tech companies. But individual responsibility alone is not enough. The government must come up with legislation to protect us. They do too little. This awareness is also very important.”
In the first year of the Stedelijk Gymnasium in Haarlem, Launspach (Amsterdam, 1988) was, in his own words, a gray mouse and a real student. That changed when he became interested in metal music and politics. He became an activist and felt at home in the squatters’ movement. At school he was accepted into a group of altos and for the first time in his life he experienced what it means to belong. Thijs also turned out to have a good listening ear, his friends spoke openly and easily with him about personal matters.
We have a blind spot to how the world around us affects our daily existence and mental makeup
He noticed that he enjoyed helping people. So he decided to study psychology in Amsterdam after high school. Thijs: ,,I thought that during my studies I would learn how to help people, but I was disappointed. The study is very focused on statistics, on scientific methods. In my opinion, the clinical side of psychology should be leading, and it is not. That was a downer for me. The balance between human sciences and statistics is not right.”
Launspach believes that we in the Netherlands have a blind spot for how the world around us influences our daily existence and mental health. “Something strange is going on in psychology in the Netherlands. It is argued that psychological suffering is the result of individual characteristics. Where we were born, what your genetic background is, how you were raised, what you went through, et cetera. We look too little or not at all at the consequences of living together in this society. In Flanders you have psychologist Paul Verhaeghe and psychiatrist Dirk de Wachter who do speak out about this, but in the Netherlands there is not enough thought about it in my opinion.”
After graduating, Launspach worked in mental health care. The treatment methods, the paperwork, reporting to report, Thijs soon realized that he did not want to follow this career path. At the same time he met Aik Kramer of the Haarlem organization GenerationWhy. Kramer had long been involved in youth work and generational issues among young adults, and Launspach entered into the partnership. This collaboration led to the publication of the book Quarterlife in 2012, a treatise on the opportunities, headaches and choices of the millennial generation, to which they both belong.
A great start to my career
,, We saw in our environment that our friends and acquaintances of our age were faced with choice stress and decision problems. No book had yet been written about it, yes, an American book had been published about the problem and there was the book The Thirties Dilemma by Nienke Wijnants, but that was not about us, us twentysomethings, in the Netherlands. So we wrote a proposal and sent it to publisher Bert Bakker. Within a week we were sitting at Mai Spijkers’ desk. Thirty minutes later we were outside with a contract for a book. That was a great start to my career.”
Where does the enthusiasm come from to want to contribute to the mental health of his fellow man? “I have gradually come to realize that everything I have done since high school and do now stems from activism. Whether I’m teaching a course, telling my story on TV, writing a book or performing on stage, the idea is that we need a set of basic psychological skills to survive in this complex and demanding world. What do you know about yourself? How do you take care of yourself? Where’s your line? I am convinced of the idea that psychology can really contribute to society in this way.”
Addictive technology
antisocial media can be read like a manual and is intended for those who are concerned about the role of social media in their lives – or who are concerned about their partner, students or children. It is also intended for those who want to cut down on the socials or want to know how to use the platforms wisely, without being swallowed up by them. It also reassures us: we don’t have to feel guilty if, every now and then, we lose ourselves in a binge, or check our feeds as if our lives depended on it. That is not a lack of self-control. We are not ‘weak’ and we should not see this as a lack of character. We are not the problem.
Launspach writes: ‘The problem is that the most addictive technology ever is being used to make you scroll as much as possible. These hip companies are not your friend. They don’t think along with you. In fact, they are looking for smart ways to manipulate your perception of the world in their own interest, and everything is allowed.’
Why should everyone but especially parents read this book? “Because parents can’t afford not to know what world their children are in. Get what’s happening. Banning it or shutting it down tightly is not possible. Talk to them. Teach children digital media wisdom and skills. If you still want to use the platforms, understand the game the tech companies are playing with you. Be selective in what you use, you don’t have to have all the apps. Throw as much off your phone as possible, make it harder to log in. Don’t dump your whole life on the internet, keep things offline, protect your private life more consciously and better. But that does not happen automatically.”