Samu Markkula opened up about the darkest moment of his life.
Samu Markkula scored in the junior national teams. Jari Pekkarinen/AOP
Samu Markkula was a promising junior whose career did not take off at the men’s level as expected.
Markkula, 29, currently plays for Mest, but his career could have been different without health problems.
Jyväskyläinen tells Liiga on the Without a map podcast the turning point was when he was left out of Finland’s under-20 World Cup team in the 2013–14 season. The tournament ended with the Young Lions World Championship.
Markkula was happy for his friends, but came to the conclusion that there must be a change in what he does.
Along with intense training, he began to regulate his eating in an unhealthy way. Markkula’s thoughts were to modify his player profile to suit the top courts, so that the next step in development would be possible.
A cycle ensued that led to an eating disorder.
– Suddenly I couldn’t control it anymore. The thoughts were only about training and food, says Markkula.
The withering was noticeable to the naked eye, but he ignored the warnings of people close to him as unnecessary worry.
Tried suicide
A few years ago, while playing in Sweden, the situation became so dark that Markkula, who was on the sidelines due to an injury, marched to a liquor store. After returning from there, he washed the contents of the bottle down his throat along with sleeping pills and muscle relaxants.
Markkula estimates the amount of medicine he took as “really big”.
– I didn’t see anything. It was completely black, he describes how he feels under the hot shower.
After an hour, he realized what he was doing. I was awakened by the sight of my beloved mother.
– It was really close, but luckily, my mother’s face came in front of my eyes.
Markkula sought help for her problems and returned to Finland to receive treatment. She estimates that she suffered from an eating disorder for almost ten years, but has now got her lifestyle under control.
The puck is fine too. Last season, Markkula played for Koovee at a point per game rate.
Don’t be alone! Comprehensive support is available for mental health problems and suicidal thoughts. You can find information about support services by phone, online and face-to-face in this story.