Our children they learn from usreflect, as Mirrors, our attitudes, our ways of communicating and our way of educating. What do we want to convey to them? With this article we intend to promote reflection on the example we want to set for our children.
In a family environment in which we have experienced deserved praise, we learn without knowing it to value things achieved with effort. If we receive encouragement, congratulations and recognition we will treasure a seed of greatness. It means knowing how to fill the glass with water, satisfying its fullness so that your child’s full potential can be exploited.
In a family environment of reproach, we learn without knowing it to condemn everything. If as children we are constantly repressed for the mistakes we necessarily make, permanent sores appear that make any friction hurt and make it difficult to discern between the good and the bad, the big and the small, leading us to the generalization of condemning everything. The virus enters at an early age in which we still do not have the rational capacity to calibrate the opportune, disproportionate and unfounded judgments of our parents. As we grow up and become adults, the unconscious “can & rdquor; and “we return” received in the form of unproductive and destructive criticism. This widespread condemnation closes the dialogue and prevents us from learning from the mistakes necessary to come to know and master things.
In a family atmosphere of balance and fairness, we learn without knowing it the art of justice. If we receive a fair and balanced treatment, some precise limits that give us security, balance and learned fairness will show us in the future the magnitude of the possible actions. Justice is not only condemning, it is respecting and recognizing what belongs to the other.
In a familiar environment of shouting and threats, we learn without knowing it to harass everything and everyone. Constant psychological aggression is a breeding ground for resentment, hatred, rebellion and fear, as it is a constant source of psychic imbalance. We learn that the fear that we can provoke in others is the way to achieve our purpose. We went from cornered beasts to cornered beasts.
In a familiar environment of security, we unknowingly learn to trust. If we feel protected and safe as children, we learn to trust others and ourselves. Children can get busy unfolding their abilities and creativity. Insecurity causes all the energy to be used to defend oneself and the other. In a space of absolute mistrust, the shadow of doubt immobilizes and causes anguish, restlessness, reducing all potential.
In a family environment that ridicules us, we learn without knowing it to fear everything. Making a fool of a child is a subtle form of bullying. Fear of making a fool of yourself is a brake on our expansion, it makes us small. It prevents us from growing. As adults, the fear of making a fool of ourselves will nullify our ability to decide and act. Opportunities will be missed and opportunities will be wasted because we were not allowed to grow.
In a family atmosphere of generosity with the world, we learn without knowing it to share. The behavior of our parents is recorded in our retinas. If they do not see signs of sincere generosity on our part, they will hardly repeat this fate. Undoubtedly, material things can be shared, but we can also teach them to share rewarding experiences, sports spaces, adventures in nature, conversations, games and, of course, study time.
In a family environment where jealousy and envy reign, we learn without knowing it to live from resentment towards others. A space in which one compares inadequately and unfairly causes suffering and a lot of resentment. Rubbing “models” close is a lack of respect for the identity of each one. Each child has a unique essence, an age, qualities and specific abilities.
In a nurturing family environment, we unknowingly learn to trust ourselves. If we receive sincere attention as children, we feel that they share our “problems”. That interest fills our hearts with joy. We learn to trust ourselves because it makes us feel bigger, stronger, more capable of everything. We feel an energy that spurs us on to new endeavors. Dare we say, this is what my parents would like! And this chain of stimuli leads to greater self-confidence that must begin to be forged from the earliest years.
In a family environment of constant and abusive competition, we learn to want to win as adults at any price. The continuous confrontation and congratulations for success without further analysis, turns us into competitive animals with no tolerance for frustration. Success at any price is a very high price in the long run.
In a family atmosphere of understanding and love, we learn without knowing it to love others and the world. When affection, sincere appreciation, loving respect prevail in the family, we learn to love each other. We are full of love and we could say that we return it by overflow.