Order in the home, when it becomes a form of well-being – iO Woman

The need for order, a very ancient form of well-being

Although the need to bring order is very much attributable to the current historical period, it is however true that many oriental philosophies are based on the search for environmental harmony. “Starting from the fact that disorder and chaos create stress, and that the external order leads to a greater internal order, many oriental disciplines seek this harmony. As the Vastuor yoga for the home, according to which the stress caused by confusion reduces and limits life energy. Not surprisingly, depending on the area of ​​your home or office, clutter affects different aspects of your life in specific ways. Even the philosophy of feng shui and the Konmari methodwhose maximum exponent is Marie Kondo, are essentially based on this principle »explains Dr. Faretta.

We therefore have an innate need to control, a mechanism that helps us to release tensions “Through control we avoid all that is intrusive and unexpected which could damage our apparent tranquility and consequently put us in a situation of real or apparent discomfort. All that we see and that we keep under control, helps us to push away what we do not see and that we would have a hard time managing. Control keeps our psyche in a calm situation in which nothing can hurt us because we see everything or at least we think we see ”, explains the psychotherapist Alderisio.

How do these videos work?

Hence, therefore, the success of this trend on social networks. In fact, videos, images and domestic sounds help to relax and lower the level of stress. For many, doing housework has become a form of meditation, so much so that they are made with relaxing background sounds or music that stimulate calm and relaxation in the viewer. «It may happen that certain sounds, noises, colors evoke pleasant situations in the person capable of creating a sort of relaxation. Noise can actually “cover” the thought and therefore, in a sort of dullness, generate peaceto be understood as the momentary abstention of anxious thoughts »explains Alderisio.

However, a clarification needs to be made: in addition to looking at them, these videos should also stimulate and entice us to recreate the same order and thus to promote the search for a balance “It is better not to be just a passive spectator but participate, getting up and doing. Otherwise they could promote feelings of unattainable competition and emulation, causing further stress »explains Faretta.

What does it really mean to put your home in order?

But what lies behind the desire to put the house in order? “Taking care of your home is the projection of a deeper need to fix internal problems where these are too uncomfortable to deal with, the subject makes a shift to something he can do such as tidying up the house. The house represents our state, making it tidy makes it feel welcoming, the best place where we could stay, our internal shelter from the outside »replies the psychotherapist.

Taking care of the house is also synonymous with taking care of ourselves, continues Elisa Faretta, of those who live there and of whom we notice; not only that, but some scientific studies have shown how order and cleanliness have positive effects on our mood and mental well-being. It also emerged that «The idea of ​​cleanliness and order leads us to be more ethically correct, while, on the contrary, if we find ourselves in a neglected environment, the frustration we feel can lead us to lie and deceive. We could therefore argue that an orderly environment really has a huge emotional impact on us, to the point of influencing our attitude towards decision making and what is right or wrong.

Furthermore, putting in order means dealing with the possibility of throwing every object around us. Choosing to keep something, as well as choosing to throw something away, means reflecting on your needs in the present moment“.

All fundamental factors, above all in a moment like this where the home is very much lived in, also due to smart working “The Cluttered spaces can affect our ability to concentrate and limit our brain’s ability to process information. Researchers have shown that a organized environment leads to greater productivity in information processing and a decrease in mental fatigue“.

When tidying up your home becomes “too much”

But be careful because this attitude can also become “too much”. Cleaning the house is also the expression, at times, of a unconscious mechanism that helps us to quell anxiety, as well as all the compulsive gestures that can be made during the day help to have everything under control and to think that everything can be managed. In some cases, therefore, tidying up and cleaning helps to quell deep anxieties and fears, explains Eugenie Alderisio.

The obsession with cleanliness and tidying is very common in both women and men: they are forms of anxietyexplains Faretta, for example always ordering children’s games while they are playing without giving them freedom of movement, going to bed only after having tidied up the whole house, or even putting an object back in exactly the same place after was touched by someone else “It’s usually an unconscious way to keep emotions from surfacing, or to manage deep-seated insecurities, or to feel right with your conscience. In practice, the person is keeping something at bay and at the same time maintaining his balance thanks to these ritual actions, which however have a high price: the lack of freedom in living one’s time and the impossibility of letting oneself go fully to relaxation, to emotions, to changes “.

That is how in the most serious cases it becomes pathology, an obsessive-compulsive disorder which leads to the creation of a ritual of gestures and behaviors to be carried out in a rigid sequence.

How to get out?

“Let’s start with the fact that movement helps the brain to relax. Cooking, DIY, signing up for a dance class, going for a walk – all of these help the brain relax. However, it is also essential to stop and listen to yourself without distractions. Active listening is important to try to understand ourselves well. It is the first step to find the strength to change, to leave behind what harms us to face the unknown of the future with the awareness of going towards our right »explains Alderisio.

Other daily actions that help keep anxiety under control “I am also eating with awareness, alone or in company, do it calmly, enjoying what you eat, chatting or watching television, stopping for a moment. But also take your time, for example, before answering the phone, inhale and exhale three times. This helps us not to be overwhelmed by what we may be told and not to be at the mercy of emotions, especially negative ones »concludes Elisa Faretta.

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